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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emotional closeness, physical distance. Do I smell?

7 replies

OnePotPlant · 23/08/2018 07:46

I've become very close friends to a guy I've known for some time. We've been friends a few years but the emotional closeness has really increased recently in terms of what we share about ourselves and how often we talk/see each other/communicate. For example he's messaged me every day this week and suggested we meet up for a drink yesterday, which we did.

BUT I've noticed over the last few times I've seen him - and was very apparent yesterday - that he's really putting more physical distance between us, to the point of sitting at a far side of the table rather than beside me for example. We've never been touchy-feeley or anything and we still have really good conversations etc, they are just from the far side of the table. It's almost awkward. We used to end our catch-ups with a short hug but recently it's like we have a nice time but once we're done he goes to lengths to avoid a hug and can't get away quickly enough.

I thought I was overthinking it but is really is such a change I'm starting to wonder if I smell or something. Or have terrible breath. Who knows!

Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
Tictactic · 23/08/2018 08:54

I think he values your friendship but is making clear now it won't develop into anything more perhaps?

OnePotPlant · 23/08/2018 09:00

I wonder. Maybe I need to explicitly say I’m fine with that, it’s ok to sit nearer me

OP posts:
WhatsGoingOnEh · 23/08/2018 09:08

Would you like to be more than friends with him, if you're both single (I don't know if you are)?

If so, I wouldn't preempt his emotional state by telling him "I'm fine as just friends!" before he's said anything, he might be building up to ask you out and that's just shut him down.

I'd say, "I can't hear you over there - what? What are you saying?" in a jokey way. Maybe just grab him for a hug at the end of the evening

I'd probably propose and move my stuff into his house too, but I think I'm a bit forward.

errhelloitsme · 23/08/2018 09:09

Has he started dating someone? If so he may not want to give out the wrong signals.

OnePotPlant · 24/08/2018 06:10

Thanks everyone. Maybe I do want more tbh and he’s trying to put up barriers. As it happens I messaged him since I last saw him and he replied to continue the conversation then later said he was on a date at that very minute. I wished him well on his date and said he shouldn’t be on the phone and he replied it wasn’t going well then later on to let me know when it was over.

This is too confusing now for me Sad

OP posts:
SnoogyWoo · 24/08/2018 06:13

He’s got feelings for you.

OnePotPlant · 24/08/2018 06:19

Then why message from a date?? It’s so odd

OP posts:
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