Im not sure about this situatiion. I had a v traumatic relationship end at the begining of last year. I wont go into too much detail but i started dating way too soon.
I now realise it was for comfort.....yes i know i was looking in the wrong place. Anyway after intensive specialised trauma therapy, a trial and over a year spent with lots of hard work done on myself i finally feel like everything is dealt with. I have never felt so 'together' and in control. Firm boundaries in place and a level of self respect has been gained. Im happy to look for a long term relationship. Im not rushing and knowledge of my wants and what i deserve are clearly in position, i have developed a level of confidence ive never possessed before.
The problem....
During my dark phase when i was stumbling around in the dating world i met someone. We both started off on the page that we wasnt looking for a relationship. There were weeks of messaging and dates, sometimes sex. We got on really well had a right laugh and just clicked. But even then i knew there was no way i was ready for anything. I was guarded but honest about my situation. It reached a point where he wanted more. The therapy was working well for me and through that i worked out i was trying to make the pain more managable by acting like a 'normal' single woman. Out and about and dating. Hope that makes sense. So i laid it out that i still definately wasnt open to anything serious.
Months passed where sometimes we would talk sometimes we would meet up and sometimes we wouldnt. I stayed single. Continuing my mission to become mentally healthy and stabilise after what my ex did to me, he had a few short term things that didnt work out.
Something recently clicked for me and i decided i would start to look for someone to embark on a relationship with, by an off chance we bumped into eachother again and spent some time together. We have a date planned for next week and we chat most days. Communication between us was always easy.
The thing is things have changed for him. Due to a new job he doesnt really have the time to start a full relationshiip, not the kind that would fit with me and my life.
Tbh im not sure i would want that with him anyway. He wouldnt fit with my friends and while i enjoy time with him i just think because of when we met it would be difficult.
So im just doing my thing and i have a date booked with someone tonight, who on paper is more what im looking for long term.
We havent spoken about dating others or feelings wants etc so i havent mentioned about the date but i feel like im deceiving him.
I dont want to muck anyone around and im not into multiple partners so should i reach a point where i meet someone i want to progress something with i would obviously be open about this. My problem is in the meantime. In theory i feel im not doing anything wrong by dating others and acting single when out with friends (because i am) but in reality i also feel uncomfortable about it am i being silly.