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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help me calm down - Jeremy Kyle stuff

6 replies

1namechange22 · 22/08/2018 20:46

Ok this is still fresh in my head so apologies for the rant nature of this.

To maintain anonymity I’ve changed name and not disclosing my relationship to “Anne” here. But it’s immediate family.

Anne and Mike are together for 5 years. During this time he cheats, and Anne takes him back. Anne’s best friend Karen is such a good friend, a shoulder to cry on. Karen also lives 2 doors down. Anne Karen and Mike spend several evenings a week together, along with other friends, socialising and having a drink. Karen and Anne do lots together, as best friends do. Holidays, exercise classes, daily morning coffees, after work drinks. Years pass and Mike cheats again. He’s been acting differently and Anne can tell somethings up. Again, Karen is a shoulder to cry on, helps Anne pack his bags and throw him out.

Turns out Karen and Mike have been getting together and Anne has been none the wiser. They deny it for months even though there are several clues hinting at their relationship. They both say it was a one time thing but eventually are found out to be living together.

Remember this is in plain sight of Anne’s house and now she is having to watch them live a life out together. Neither have apologised or shown any kind of remorse for literally ruining Anne’s life, making her feel such torment.

Basically I’m shaking with rage that two people can be so evil. Yes you can’t help who you fall for but to lie about it, to try to hide it, to pretend you’re someone’s friend helping them through when you’re the one he’s doing it with all along!. Surely this is a whole new low? I can’t bear seeing Anne so cut up, struggling to cope with it being thrust in her face. I don’t even know if you can offer words of advice but sometimes you just need to get it off your chest. I’ve only ever read about this stuff in magazines and now it’s real life.

OP posts:
Thatsfuckingshit · 22/08/2018 20:54

It amazes me how awful cheaters can be. It's devastating.

I can't imagine this. I adore my best friend. I love her. I also love her husband. He is like my brother.

They both took me in when I left my abusive ex. I spelt on their sofa with my kids. We cooked together and I go round and see just him and their kids if my best friend is at work.

I just couldn't ever do somethi g so hurtful to her. Certainly not live next door but 2 to them while doing this.

I just can't st my head round it and not surprised you are angry. But just be there for Anne. She has been badly hurt and needs people.

Tictactic · 22/08/2018 21:21

I know of 3 women that have done this to their best friends. The new couples are all still together. In 2 cases I witnessed the deceit. Neither cared about the wives, I'm sure they got off on it. I've no idea how people can do it Sad

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 22/08/2018 21:24

A friend of mine had exactly the same happen to her. It appears to be fairly common, or at least not as uncommon as you'd hope.

1namechange22 · 22/08/2018 21:25

I think that’s one of the things bothering me most! Is that I’m looking for some kind of remorse... guilt...anything. Probs not gonna find it!

OP posts:
Orange6904 · 22/08/2018 21:36

Entitled selfish shits don't have remorse.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 22/08/2018 21:51

Going by the pair I observed, they showed no signs of guilt at all. They thought theirs was a great lurve that was more important than anything. Apparently my friend's ExH is now, finally, showing some regret that his now adult DC still don't want anything to do with him. One of the OW's kids has dropped her too.

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