he fell asleep... a slightly dull one...

[WishIwasanastronaut]

I am in a fairly new relationship, first after divorce.

My bf's car has apparently been 'loaned out to someone by his ex without him knowing' (I think this is the first red flag) and therefore I went to pick him up after working an 8 hour day and he didn't come when I messaged him.

I messaged and called him several times, waited for 30 minutes and then drove home.

He said he suddenly fell asleep. I do not accept this. Normal people do not fall asleep like that. I am fucking livid. How dare he waste my time like that. Actually, he got the tube to my place but I really didn't want him there anymore as the damage had been done. I've sent him home.

I was very hot and am slightly stressed at the moment and not sure if I am over-reacting. Could you give me some perspective? There are also possibly some cultural issues at play here. Could it be normal to do this in some cultures?

If I was that tired, yes. I don't sleep well at night, so could very easily sit down to wait and just nod off without intending to.

If you want to make it work, tell him how it made you feel.

My DH can sleep very fast and easily. More than once while he was talking, he suddenly starts slurring and talks crap. I've never met anyone else who can but it's obviously possible. Depends if you think he's worth a second chamce

There are also possibly some cultural issues at play here

If he is Nigerian and is in North London, then this is my ex, he has sleep apnoea, refuses to wear a prescribed CPAP mask because "it's not sexy" and is most definitely married (not to me.)

Also he's about 8 years older than he's told you (good black don't crack!)

OK all joking aside he's probably not my ex. If he doesn't have the basic respect to turn up when he's said he's going to then why the hell are you hanging around?

If I was really tired but knew my girlfriend was picking me up at x time I might close my eyes, but I'd set an alarm for 10 to x and also make sure my phone was charged and on loud.
This is the sort of selfish, childish behaviour I couldn't deal with OP

It might happen to me.
I set my phone alarm and sometimes sleep through it.
I'd be mortified though.

it shouldn't be this difficult so early on.