Awkward friendship

[StarB80]

Hi all. I'm wondering if I have reason to be upset or if I'm overreacting. I've been good friends with someone for a few years - worked together, nights out together, mutual friends. There have been a couple times she's upset me before but I put it down to alcohol. Anyway, I went out with a friend of hers for a couple of months and it didn't work out - just wanted different things. A couple weeks after we broke up we all went out for my friends birthday, which was going to be awkward anyway. Well my ex spent a lot of the evening getting friendly with a new girl to the group, which upset me. The next day there was a pic of them on fb together - just like when I first met him and a pic was put up. Since then my friend has been having evenings out with the other girl and also went out with the girl and my ex, just like I use to do with her. My problem here isn't the ex, as we broke up and he's free to move on. My problem is I'm starting to feel like a bit of an outsider with my friend and that she hasn't really considered my feelings. Am I wrong?

Yes YABU sorry. You dated this guy a couple months. A couple years, yeah I can see some feelings there, but a couple months is nothing! I think you’re the one causing the drama here.

I don't think she's done anything wrong - sounds like she's been friends with the guy you dated for a while, and it's not like you had a long or serious relationship with him.

I thought you were going to say she was dating him herself and even that wouldn’t be that bad as you weren’t together long.

I’m sure you’re not being replaced. It might feel a bit weird for now but it sounds like a mutual straight forward break up so she doesn’t have any reason to cut him off if he’s been a longstanding friend.

I'm not causing a drama as I haven't said anything to anyone, this is just how I've been feeling so was looking for some advice. Also I don't expect her at all to not be friends with the guy as they have been friends for years. I just now feel like a bit of an outsider when I thought we were close

But your friend can befriend who she wants surely? Have you got any friends outside this circle? Maybe spending time with them might make you feel better.

Is she spending less time with you? Do you see her in a group always or just the two of you, has it changed?

Of course she can be friends with whoever she wants, I just haven't seen her since she's been friends with the new girl. We tried to arrange to met up but we've not been able to find a time that suits us both. It use to be me and her or both of us and our friends, and then of course my ex and us. But now it's them without me. She is a lot more social than me and I do need to make more friends. Our lives are pretty different just now but I just miss what we had before I went out with her friend.

So you can still meet with her, or the other friends if ex and new gf don't come. Do that a few times and see how it goes, you may settle in to a new routine. Doesn't sound like she's blanking you, just trying to fit everyone in, you are feeing bereft because two people you were close to are busy, it's not forever. Keep yourself busy too.

Can't you go out with them all? Is she turning you down?

I haven't been invited out with them so I've now stopped trying to meet and will leave it to her if she wants to get in touch. I know friendships change and things but I stuck by her as a friend no matter what my situation was. I'm now branching out to other friends more

I don’t see the problem. Your friend A made a new friend Z and is hanging out with her. Z also happens to be dating her old friend, B, and so sometimes they all go out together.

A did the very same when you were dating B.

I think the problem is the part when you wrote that it was awkward seeing B at A’s birthday celebration and you were upset when you saw B showing interest in Z.