House payments

[littlepotatoes]

Not really sure where to put this.

I left my marital home, my husband still lives there. It's in both our names and up for sale.

We have our DDs 50:50.

I am renting somewhere else. At the minute I pay half the mortgage as well as my own rent. We each pay our own bills. On sale, we will split the equity 50:50. Do I need to keep paying this? If I do, does he need to pay me part rent for living in a house we're both paying for (as I'm not currently benefiting from it)? I don't want to default on the mortgage and I'm sure he could afford it on his own, but I'm struggling to pay 2 lots of housing.

The fairest thing seems to be to pool the cost of the mortgage plus my rent and pay half each, but he says I need to pay both myself. Is this true? It's all been pretty amicable up to now but if the house doesn't sell soon I'll have no savings left. Does anyone know the legal stance? Thanks

You are right as to what's fair!

If you can, look at solicitors in your area at ones that offer a free half hour and get some legal advice.
I would suggest that what you say is fair.
So rent + mortgage = split 50:50
He's having his cake and eating it right now and that is not OK.
But if you are responsible for the mortgage as well then I'm not sure where you stand legally.

If you chose to leave why should he pay part of your rent as well?

I’m going to assume that like in most areas rental costs are higher than mortgage costs.

You husband is living in the joint property and should pay the full rental cost for this property as he is getting full benefit and you are getting none. If he does not want to do this he should move out and you can rent it to a third party and split the proceeds. The downside of this option for both of you is that there is risk and costs associated with renting out the property. So a compromise on your part is that he pays the mortgage in full as a reduced rent for the property.

The possible unfairness with splitting the living costs is if one of the properties is “better” than the other. There are usually big disparities in the cost of mortgages v’s rent costs for the same type of property. So if one is living in 4 bed house and the other a 2 bed flat, it’s not fair to be paying the same amount.

Plus the OP has had moving costs and fees to pay, her husband has avoided these by staying put. Identify these and calculate back dated shortfalls. If you decide to write it off, them be clear with him that you have done this and that it is a financial gain for him.

I suggest putting this in writing to him in a fairly straightforward and non judgmental way. Offer him the option to decide what to do and see what he says. You then need to decide what you default position is if he is unreasonable, legal advice is required. The problem is that by moving out you have lost a lot of leverage. It may be worth it but if so, progress the divorce ASAP.

Our mortgage is more than my rent, and our home is far nicer than my crappy rented flat. Therefore if we split both 50:50 I'll still be paying more than my rent alone.

I had to leave because he wouldn't go.

Can he afford to pay more? Do you earn roughly the same or does one of you out-earn the other?

If you stopped paying the mortgage, could he afford it on his own short-term until the house sells? Or would he default on the payments?

You need legal advice. If your DDs live with you and our school age it's likely you will get more than 50:50 split on the sale of the house.

Also you need to consider other assists, pensions etc

And why did you have to leave?
Affair, abuse???

No you don't have to keep paying the mortgage. You don't live there. However if you want to have the equity from the house sale then it would be prudent to do so. Is the house up for sale? Have you got legal advice? I would go see a solicitor and ask what you should be doing.

You need legal advice. If your DDs live with you and our school age it's likely you will get more than 50:50 split on the sale of the house.

OP has already said they have 50:50 care.

Is your ex paying you Csa. Payments...
I would ask him for it, if not and it should off set your share of rent.

If it's a joint mortgage you are responsible for it even if you don't live there. If the payments fall behind, the lender would pursue and penalise both of you.

Having said that, it doesn't seem morally right that you are struggling to pay 50% of the mortgage along with your own rent if he is financially able to manage it on his own.

I think it would be different if he couldn't afford it btw. Lots of men continue paying a % of the mortgage after moving out and renting elsewhere rather than leave their wife in difficulties.

I'd seek legal advice on this.

"s your ex paying you Csa. Payments..."

They have 50/50 care.

" it's likely you will get more than 50:50 split on the sale of the house. "

Not with 50/50 care.

My friend received housing benefit even though she owned her share of the FMH. She was on a low wage though. If you are on a low wage it is possible to receive help

I'm on an ok wage. We earn about the same. My pension will be crap compared to his though because of Mat leaves and being part time for years. I'm not thinking of chasing for that though.

I've asked him to consider a fairer split and been quoted the fact he paid for our last family holiday 😩.

I don't think I'm going to get very far without a solicitor so may need to go down that route. Thanks for the advice

I could afford a third of the mortgage, but not half. He won't even consider this