Normal Abuse - people with 4 children only reply

[boomeranggang]

My dear husband is my world. It goes without saying though that i have had a very lonely 14 years of emotional torture, being cheated on, hated and victimized (by husbands family and adulteresses). There have been prostitutes in the past and dishonesty. Now with four children and being dependent totally upon him I am shamed and dishonored of my womanliness... The next step is unclear...

I just wonder of those in the same situation to understand better to advise please. xx

OP: I think putting in your title about people only replying if they have 4 children means you haven't had any replies.

The next step is you make the decision firm in your head you will leave, and work out how you are going to do it. The most difficult part is getting your head round it, the rest are practicalities you can get help with.

I left, with only 2 kids, its hard, but it can be done.

What are your cirumstances? Womens aid might be your first port of call to get some advice.

Last thing, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. But no one in this world is in the same situation as you. Every situation is unique.
I would probably get your thread edited and then you might actually get some help. Someone could have no children and still be able to offer help and support

I have four children, and find this hard and a little confusing to read. Why on earth is he your world? It sounds like it's time to put your DCs and yourself first and leave.

Are your DCs young enough that you still have a health visitor? I'd suggest calling woman's aid like a pp said, or speaking with your HV or even GP.
None of what you describe is ok, and if you get free you will be able to access funds via him and / or benefits, and be better off without all this.

There is no such thing as normal abuse ?!

Please seek help with women's aid, no one will judge you.

OP, I think the first step that might be useful is for you to get clear about how you feel about your husband. Once you're able to do that, then you'll be able to act from a place of clarity rather than confusion.

OP - next step is obviously NOT to have any more children with this man....
And then sort out your head because you seem to blame his family/his other women for your unhappiness - while HE is your world....

Number of kids is really irrelevant.
Either you accept that he sleeps with prostitutes OR you kick him out.

I have multiple DC like you op but I don't understand.

Why is he your world and not your 4 DC??

You need to put them first and do whatever it takes to get them into a safe, peaceful environment in which to grow and learn and only have role models in their lives that aren't damaging or abusive.

Why is ltb unclear?
I left my exh and took 4x dc.
To be clear op - your h isn't your world he his a twat.

I've learnt from mn about reproductive coercion. Where the abuser forces his partner to have more dc to keep them under his control. Sorry if that is not the case but it's a thought.