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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Staying NC with parent(s)

3 replies

AsYouAre · 21/08/2018 22:26

Recently decided to go NC with DM who's an alcoholic, after years of trying to help her and broken promises I can't deal with the toll its taking on my MH so won't engage with her any further as I have DC who won't benefit from me being stressed and anxious all the time. Which I have been.

DM is a nightmare and has been a terrible mother regardless of the alcohol, despite that I can't help but love her and feel guilty about leaving her to destroy what's left of her life (although she will do that whether we're in touch or not)

Looking for clarification that its OK to do what's right for me even if that means her spiralling further, If that's even possible.

Is there anybody else here who has gone NC with parents/family and been at peace with that decision / found it was the right thing to do?

I'm struggling with the guilt already but will stick to my guns and put myself first for once.

OP posts:
Aprilshowersinaugust · 21/08/2018 22:29

Nc with df +dm. Divorced when I was tiny.
Best decision ever.
Df =20 years.
Dm = 18.
No regrets.

AsYouAre · 21/08/2018 22:37

That's really reassuring to hear

I'm glad you did what was best for you

OP posts:
Snowwhitequeen · 22/08/2018 13:59

I did it, and undid it, and now feel I probably have to do it again. They won't ever change as they feel everyone else is the problem. The long standing thread 'but we took you to stately homes...' on this board might help.

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