How can I be sure it's over -25 years

[Wheretorun]

I'm in pieces. One day I'm sure and the next i don't know. My H has not been emotionally 'there' through our marriage. I now realise any fear or anxiety comes out as anger (rages). I've never worked out the triggers for this. Therapy has made me realise our dynamic has been all wrong. With me taking too much, though I've tried to reason, and then feeling resentment; and he only seemed to cope with life if he's in control. He's said and done some awful things.
Now, after a year of me saying we'll divorce if he doesn't get therapy, he's decided too. But it feels too late to forgive now. How do I know for sure? After years of him always needing to be right, he can be very manipulative, i don't know who i am except his wife.

I guess I want certainty. Maybe I'm used to listening to other people and don't trust my decisions😣

I’m not sure I think it’s ever too late to forgive someone, but that is your decision to make. Would you be prepared to wait until you see if the therapy helps?

I just feel so exhausted by it. It's actually been a few years to get to this point. I started to think about when the kids leave home and realised I wouldn't feel safe. Then i feel silly as he's never actually hit me, just raged and intimidated me then gone silent for days.
I just don't know if I have anymore to give and if I did, my tolerance is so.low, I could be destroyed in one 'rage'. He's not begging me to give him a chance, just says I should put the kids first.