Writing a will to include provision for new partner & grown up kids

[Scoobyjo555]

Hi everyone - new to this forum. I have done a search but can't quite see what I want. In short, I have been divorced for 15 years. I have been in my "new" relationship for the past 4 years and we have been living together in "my" home for the past 18 months. I am early 50's female, I have my two sons living still at home, aged 23 and 21 - both working and mostly out and about. So, I have a mortgage on my house for £170k, the house is worth around £320k. My lovely man pays rent to live with us. I have life insurance which pays the mortgage if I "pop off" early. My will was written a long time ago (I know, I need to do a new one) and was for when I was single and also for when my kids were both pre 21. I was wondering what other people have done with regard to wills ... if I do pop off earlier than expected, I don't want my partner to be left homeless (as all will be left to my 2 grown boys). In the future, it may be that I will have some financial provision for my partner and we might even buy a place together but as a divorcee and the fact I have worked damn hard to keep my head above water etc in the past, there is no financial provision for my b/f at present (3 years is still early days for me) but I don't want him to find himself without a home. Your advice, stories, experiences, recommendations on a will writing company will be most gratefully received. Thank you all.

Sorry, me again (can't see how to edit). Your advice, stories, experiences on your own situations and what you have done will be much appreciated, thanks.

Talk to a solicitor. I am sure they deal with that type of thing all the time.

But I am sure you can put a proviso that says he gets to stay in the house for a certain amount of time.

Where did he live before he moved in with you

Hi. He had a flat which he sold and so he has some funds in the bank but not enough to purchase anywhere.

Its different because I'm married, but have my home that was mine before we were together, and I have 2 children. My will states DH gets 50% of the estate outright, and the other 50% he gets in trust, but can't squander. That is ring fenced for the children. Had we not been married, I wouldn't include him in the will at all.

Thank you for your honesty.

Scoobyjo555 I hope you don't think Im being rude, but has your partner made any provision for you at all? 3yrs isn't a lifetime and it sounds like he is able to provide for himself without help from you. I'm surprised he didn't keep his flat and rent it out until you decided what you'd like to do as a couple tbh.

Does new partner contribute to house improvements?

I'm a bit torn here - on the one hand; I'd be cautious about leaving money for him if he's making no provision for you. On the other, I live in DPs flat right now and if we're here a while and he died; I'd be pretty sad to have to leave. Not that I wouldn't be gutted that he'd died! But I think I'd be happier here where I had memories of him.

I'd talk to a solicitor and see what they advise. Maybe a trust is a good idea.

Don't disinherit your children, get legal advice from a solicitor, face to face. Will writing and distance wills or diy are not suitable for complex situation. Think before you change anthing, you may make a will in anticipation of marriage, but he should do the same.
Do you still need insurance if your kids are grown? Talk to them about your plans

I 'm not in your situation, but if I were I don't think I would be thinking about leaving a new partner anything more than a token. I would leave my estate to my child. Why is he unable to be financially independent? If he died would you expect something from his estate? Does he have children? If you got married I would review the situation.

At this stage I'd expect to leave everything to my sons.

I’ve been with my second husband for ten years, married for three.
I have 2 children , he has none. We live in my mortgage free home
If he dies , I get all his savings , pension etc

If I die he has life long use of the home but is not allowed to sell it.
My children get 2/5 each of my estate and my husband gets 1/5

My husband suggested this. He gets on very well with my adult children ( aged 41 and 37) and I know they will rally round him if he needs them.
They also would not see him struggle if he was unable to manage financially

He says he would not want to rattle round here without me and intends to go and live in our large caravan should I go first.

Does that help

Oh and I pay for all the repairs to my home as dh has no financial interest in it.

Sorry, I think I have confused you all. My partner did not own property prior to moving in ... he left the family home some years before we met and then rented which is why he has some funds but not enough to buy anywhere (he also has a grown son who lives elsewhere). I intend to leave everything to my two grown sons - I just don't want to leave him immediately homeless if anything happens to me. I was wondering about a sort of 6 month provision which should give him some time to make alternative arrangements - I'm just interested to see what others have done in a similar situation so that I have some ideas of the right thing to do. I have life insurance so that my kids will have the full amount to split between them and not just the value of the equity in the property. He is not asking or expecting anything - it's just me not wanting to think of him losing his love (me ) and his home all in one go. Thanks again and sorry if I have confused you - this is purely about giving him some short term provision if I go first.

.

Thank you Dowser. Very helpful.

Surely if all you want is for him to have a short breathing space that could be dealt with by a conversation with your sons and a letter expressing your wishes to accompany the will. However, do think ahead, what would happen if he were 80 and perhaps disabled and you had adapted the house. Would you want him out 5 months after your funeral?

My dad was in a situation that wasn’t quite the same, but similar. The difference was that he’d bought a house 50/50 with his partner, but neither wanted to leave anything to each other and wanted their children to inherit everything. Their will said that the surviving partner had 6 months to decide whether to buy the other half of the house from the children of the deceased, or move out and sell up. When my dad told me this, I did say that of course we would never have treated “Sue” badly or kicked her out, even though we weren’t close, but he insisted that this was the best way to protect everyone.

You can change your will as things progress anyway. If you’re still together in your 70s, maybe you’ll have bought somewhere else together, or maybe he’ll have just contributed so much to that house that everyone feels like he’s entitled to something. Just keep your sons involved in the conversation. My dad talks me through updates to his will quite regularly and sometimes I think it’s morbid, but at least I know what to expect. Incidentally he’s in his 50s and in good health, so not preparing me for anything immediate.

My mums will states that her husband should be allowed to stay in the property until such time as he needs to go into a home, or dies, whichever comes first. The house is in her name. He's her second husband and brought nothing financially to their marriage. Then the property should be sold and the proceeds shared equally between her children.
However, they are in their 80s.
My house is in joint name with my second husband. I used the money I received from my divorce for the deposit. I had a child. We had another child together. Both girls are now adult.
Our wills are identical in that if I die first both girls will get an amount of money but my husband gets the house and the remaining money. I have more money if I die as I have more life insurance. If he dies first they get less money. Once we both die, the estate will be split between both girls equally.
If he remarries and leaves the money to another woman, I'll haunt him for the rest of his days 😂😂😂

if he remarries and leaves the money to another woman, I'll haunt him for the rest of his days 😂😂😂

You say that in jest but you’d be horrified if you knew how often that happened. Or - slightly different version - your widowed partner rewrites his will, leaving everything (including your estate) to his biological children, cutting out his step children (your bio children). Happened to me and my siblings.

I know someone who lived with her partner for almost 20 yrs and paid rent in the house they shared (but he owned). She nursed him through a long illness and had a really good relationship with his grown up kids. He expressed his wishes to his children that she be allowed to stay living there until she died or needed residential care.

Despite all of this, she came home from work one day to a For Sale sign and a note through the door giving her 2 weeks to vacate the property.

If you want your wishes to stick, do it legally!!

I think it's a little early to include him in your will to be honest. I'm in a similar position on the other side and if my partner died (5 years together, 1 year living in his house) I'd fully expect the house to go to his kids and for me to sort myself out. After 10 years, I might well feel diffently, but I don't feel that one year living in his house buys me a permanent share if he died tomorrow.

I have literally just today updated my will because I recently married.

My new husband is moving into my home.

My child is still my sole beneficiary.
There will be a clause added that gives him the right to reside for 12 months.

There will also be a clause that specifically excludes him as a beneficiary, for clarity. He’s aware of all this!

I thoroughly recommend Marlow Wills - great service for this and my previous will. Lots of ideas, very knowledgable. All done by phone and email, brilliant and consistent reviews on trustpilot.

She posts on MN and gives a lot of advice, but only advertises here where she has paid to do so.

I’ve got no connection to the company - just a satisfied customer!

www.marlowwills.co.uk

Thanks for that link Ellisandra, my DH and I are moving soon and need to get wills sorted as we're going from tenants in common to joint tenants. Congrats on your marriage btw!

OP my DH has DC but I have none. As far as I'm aware we have life insurance as part of our mortgage T&Cs which should cover me staying in the house, then DH's kids get any other assets/payouts. But we'll sort it out properly once we've moved.