I know I'm not the most fantastically orgeous female on earth...

[newlifenewname]

But, why do I only seem to attract very boring and not particularly good looking types with my online dating?

I don't get to do reall life dating as I don't really go out of an evening these days.

I have previously has quite okay looking male partners so what has happened?

surely its about more than looks

oh btw, my new ladders should be arriving this week.

;) Misdee!

I am getting overly concerned with aesthetics I think.

Umm could it be the online dating thing - quite honestly a lot of my single friends (male) do this because they are too lazy/inept to find a woman in real life!

What's wrong with meeting men in the daytime anyway? Have you put the word out with your friends that you are looking and asked them to suggest people - seriously, at the very least you might make a new friend.

Well, possibly because there actually are more boring unattractive people in the world than entertaining sexy ones. This is certainly true in both a subjective and objective way - someone you find dull and fugly could be someone else's wet dream, after all. My DS' dad is doing online dating at the moment, would you like him ? He's quite tall, moderately fit but he does talk a lot.
Also, pick your sites carefully, try to use the ones that cater to people with certain interests or tastes rather than letting any old gumby in.
Good luck. And think of the stories you'll have to tell...

whomovedmychocolate has a point - from what i've heard from others who use the net it can attract a certain type of saddo (have heard 2 of my single mates saying very similar things over last month so its not just you)

to add to whomovedmychocolates good suggestions, What about something that is more about meeting people randomly - speeddating or one of those dinner/lunch date type things?

I think you are looking in the wrong place too. What is stopping you from getting out then? Is it lack of babysitters? Lack of people to go out with?

I think you need to reassess. If you find it difficult getting out at night then get out during the day. If your kids are toddlers then enrol at tots groups, make some friends, with friends come babysitters and nights out. Or if you have a bit of spare time during the day, do a little volunteering, you get to meet lots of people this way too.

Forget about trying to find a man. If you get out there, enjoy yourself and make friends you will find that men will find you. There is nothing more attractive to men than confident fun-going and sociable women. Which is why when you are spoken for, you suddenly find yourself surrounded by admirers, because you have stopped looking you are exuding an inner confidence and carefreeness that is attractive.

Trust me, stop looking and start living your life to the full.

I got chatted up a lot on my plumbing course (don't ask!) Despite the wedding ring.

My friend met her husband after she fell over in town and he picked up her tampons which shot out of her bag

Fing is Rhubarb, I do have a life. I am very gregarious, and up for most things. I've a wide range of interests, have a good circle of friends (but we don't tend to meet up beyond children stuff - this could be because I have always moved area and so I have a phone relationship with my really close friends).

I'm full of ideas, rarely ponder the man thing during the day (except for my recent disappointment) and so don't think I come across as Norma no mates/no boyfriend.

I probably am a bit too independent at times. Oh I don't know!

Exp in his more rational moments says I'm single minded in a good way - maybe that is off putting?

Perhaps?

Maybe you don't read signs that men out there do give to you? Do you have any male friends? Have your past relationships been dates straight away or relationships forged from friendships?

I dunno where you are going wrong, if you are at all, but I don't think online dating is the way to go. I'm a firm believer in having friends first and foremost, then whatever comes from that is a bonus. Be patient, he's out there somewhere!

Hmm men like independence coupled with dependence - they are weird!

Could you use the online dating to fine female friends to go out with to places men might be (B&Q for sulky men, Sainsburys for hungry men, the yacht club for rich men )?

You could have my ex-dh if you are really desperate?

Could it be something about the way your are presenting yourself online?

Thanks. I always seem to cultiavte sort of intellectual relationships with men. I have big-time missed the signs in the past.

I'm crap. I could go to an evening class and be the only woman in history attending evening classes in the hope to meet a man and not actually find one. There may be interested men but I just don't notice them.

I need to talk about this with my therapist. It's not the focus of my life right now but it is starting to bother me a bit since I've been on my own for nearly half the year.

Only 6 months single? That's not long you know.

Perhaps you don't notice men around you. Ask your female friends who know you, if there is anything you are doing wrong. Only the people who really know you well can give you advice on how you present yourself to people.

But methinks that you are trying a little too hard despite your protestations, 6 months is not a long time to be single and I would be making the most of every single minute!

I'm also trying to avoid anyone remotely like my ex. I'ver never given a fig about money before but I do now as I have always, always been the provider in my relationships. So, yacht club sounds good!

Six months off is probably a good plan if you have had bad a bad relationship before.

Perhaps you need to work on your own sense of attractiveness first (sorry that sound patronising and I don't intend it too) but you need to get to the point where you realise you are gorgeous - or orgeous if you prefer - so that you don't care when you go out if you meet someone. That's the point at which you probably will

Oh yes, my DH is solvent where ex dh wasn't and it's lovely.

I've spent about 5 minutes looking at this thread title trying to figure out what orgeous meant doh! (sounds like a real word though doesn't it - sort of cross between orgasmic and gorgeous)

I think (from friends who online date) that it can be completely hit and miss. So maybe you'll be due a bit of 'hit' quite soon.

You are all soooo right.

I am just trying to ignore that obvious fact.

and make sure you are using the right dating sites.

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agree with Whomoved about importancce of thinking you are orgeous. If you have an ad on a dating site which makes you sound confident and sexy (or even onfident and exy) they will come flocking to you.

(met my dh that way )

Nooooooooooooo.

We don't know you. Ask your friends. Ditch the online idea.

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