How to be less bitter

[Stinkbomb]

STBXH left me 2.5 years ago, DD was 2 at the time and it was relatively amicable - I hoped he'd change his mind & come back to me, however 2 years ago I discovered that he was sleeping with my friend. Who was married to his oldest friend.
She was a close friend of mine (so I thought).
They have now spilt up.
I can't forgive her - she drew me closer , while she was sleeping with my husband, pretending to be my friend.
I'm really struggling to get over how she has betrayed me - she's never apologised, she's actually been nasty to me (& probably about me), and now always seems to be out with people that I have been invited to go out with too.
How do I get over this, I don't like the effect that her being around has on me.
(Just to add for depth, I've suffered with depression since DD died as a baby a few years ago)

Omg, what a lot to go through, I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter and what your ex and "friend" did. I can't imagine how tough that must be. I don't know about answers but I've looked at teal swan stuff about getting rid of resentment and also Marianne Williamson stuff (kind of thank them for the lesson that you needed to learn to be the best version of yourself but am totally over simplifying I think ). Well done for trying. It must be very tough

[thank you]

Do you have to be around her?

I'd tell your other friends you can't be in her company after what happened.

Sorry for your loss.

If I were you I'd tell the others how you feel, and if they can't understand then get new friends! I know easier said then done and you've been let down by two people close to you.

I went through something very similar 2.5 years ago. I can't advise on a good way to handle it as I didn't find one really.It's triggered some real mental health issues for me and those have had knock on consequences for my career as well as my other relationships. I trust very few people now and it's led to me isolating myself a bit as a sort of self preservation measure.

My best friend had been lying to me and having an affair with my husband for about a year and a half (that I know for sure about-probably longer). There were issues with my marriage (some of them my fault) and she had been my main confidant and support. As it turned out everything I said to her was being related to my husband. She was using knowledge gained from me about him to get closer to him. She feigned depression at her own marriage breakdown at the time, and allowed me to support her through that and worry about her hugely-whilst all the time getting into a relationship with my husband.
A few of our friends suspected but didn't tell me. Her own husband knew but she kept telling him she would stop and they would work on their marriage if he didn't tell me. During that time we socialised together (husbands too), we went away for weekends, endless nights out etc etc...So many events and conversations that I now see very differently. Its a total head spin.

The only things that have helped me, and that I can advise for you op, are therapy (lots of it), medication and moving away from the town where we all lived (though not as far as I'd like-the kids still need to see their dad and go to the same school etc).
Honestly I struggle to socialise with anyone
That remains friends with her or him-just because I struggle with what is being said about me and by who (some of which might be in my head but that's the tangle it's left me in)
I used to be a much more confident person (though I've always had fairly low self esteem but had been able to sort of power through it). This has left me a very different person and I'm not sure I'll ever get back to what I was.

And to add-I'm sorry about DD. That's an awful lot to deal with. And probably too much on your own. Definitely some counselling if you can. It really can help.

Hi, One of the best friends I ever had did the same to her very close friend,not to me. Her boyfriend left her because he had a breakdown and was hospitalized etc. She then started seeing her good friends husband and they had 4 children. My friend got pregnant and had an abortion.It made me see her in a totally different light as I thought that if she was capable of that then she was capable of anything etc. We lost touch, but I was shocked at her behaviour. I previously thought she was a lovely person, she wasn't obviously.
What I'd do if I were you is try to build a new social life with no connections to any previous friends of him and this woman. No way would I be socializing around her. Join some groups/clubs etc.Anything where you will be meeting new people. I'd go for counselling as well and think to yourself that you have been unlucky and that not everyone will behave like this. You will get over it with time I think.
Take care.