Love my husband but how do I tell him he needs to sort his health out

[NancyFridayWrites]

I’m sitting writing this while he snores next to me! In the last 10 years he’s put on loads of weight and I’m sure he now has sleep apnea. We are on holiday and he normally sleeps in our room while I share a bunk bed with my youngest daughter.

Sit him down, tell him you love him and to sort his weight out.....try honesty first. Please don't shame him.

Sleep apnea often makes it difficult to lose weight and obviously the interrupted sleep means you have little energy to exercise. Can you convince him to see a doctor about that part and maybe the rest will follow?

He's at really high risk of a heart attack. He clearly has a loving family - maybe it's time for you to get really tough with him? What about a family health check?

Record him on your phone.

My DH wouldn't ever believe how bad his restless legs were and thought I was just nagging until he saw how badly he was kicking around the bed when I filmed it.

Then go to the GP together. Pronto. That must be terrifying for you, and he must feel awful the next day.

I would wait until you are back home from holiday - don't spoil the break by fretting or mentioning it to him now. This is a long term issue and it will take a while to solve, so a few more days will make no difference.

You could start by mentioning the sleep apnoea - you noticed it on holiday obviously, and see if you can persuade him to see the GP about it - no need to mention his weight - the GP will do that for you! It might be a good motivator for him to tackle things if he realises that he is at serious risk. Maybe better for him to hear that from someone else, rather than you. You can be supportive and help him, rather than be the one doing the nagging?

I’m going to record him. What also worries me is he is becoming a feeder to our oldest DD. She is 9 and he buys her loads of unhealthy food. But I think you’re right in saying I need to tackle the apnea first.

Going to record him now!

Over feeding children is child abuse. You have to stop him doing that to your daughter.

Make an appt to see his GP, and in the meantime, buy him an oral device. My DH has sleep apnoea and it worked miracles - I don't worry about him choking/stopping breathing in his sleep anymore. DH's doctor recommended it, and it's like a mouthguard he wears at night that moves his jaw into the right position so his airway stays open. His is a Snoreeze one, I bought it from Boots but you can get it online too.

Misery loves company, you need to call him out on over feeding your DD. Whatever his issues are, your DD’s health is a red line.