Help...please

[chocolover93]

Myself and dp haven't been together very long (15 months) we had a happy accident dd (6 months) and he doesn't help with her at all...she's asleep when he goes to work and in bed by the time her comes home so I only ask for help at the weekend and he thinks it's my job...I'm a young sahm and I appreciate him working so I can stay at home with my daughter (said to him all the time) but no matter what I do it's not good enough (the house isn't clean, the baby is talking too much in the morning when he's trying to sleep...etc) he goes out at least once a week sometimes twice with his friends..he can be very mean when he's drunk and tonight he came home drunk and told me to f**k off to my own country (I've moved so he can be closer to his daughter) is it just a bad patch and should I stick it out for my daughter or am I right to want to go home to my mom and raise my daughter in a country where I have support?? Sorry for the long post xx

No need to apologise. It sounds like you've rather been thrown together through the pregnancy happening so soon rather than necessarily choosing him. Do you think you'd have stayed together this long without the baby?

He doesn't sound very nice. I think you're completely justified in wanting to go home. Not sure where you stand on access/ custody etc. Hopefully someone else can advise.

I would tell him that you accept his suggestion and you'll be off.
Sounds as if you were both thrown together by circumstances rather than choice and he resents it now.
It must be lonely for you. Being with your mum sounds good if your mum is happy with that?

I'm sorry he's treating you like this. You know you don't deserve it. Maybe he is resentful that you got pregnant so early in the relationship. Or maybe he's just a twat. Either way, you need to be somewhere where you are loved and appreciated. I'd leave.

I would take him up on his suggestion.

Why do you need to stick it out for his daughter? He barely sees her and doesn’t sound bothered.

He doesn't sound great.
I think you now realise you made a mistake having a child with this man and you should return to your mum.

If you were my daughter I'd welcome you home with open arms. Your daughter is precious. Him, not at all.

should I stick it out for my daughter

No. He doesn't interact with her at all and he sounds vile.

Definitely go home to your Mom. Your daughter will be much better off with a happy Mother of her own.

He's a lazy, abusive bully.
Time to get out.
He does nothing anyway so what will your DD gain from him being around? Nothing!
Get back to where you have a support network.
And live happily away from this asshole!

Oh sweetie. Go home where your mum can help you and don’t let him ruin your life.