I'm SO OVER IT with the online dating.....

[queenjosephine]

Hello all
I'm 40, a single mum, have great friends, a lovely daughter and a busy but good life, but often feel very lonely and would really like to meet a man!
My circumstances mean that it's highly unlikely I'll meet anyone unless through O.L.D
I've been on a lot of dates but never has it been longer than a few dates & I haven't been intimate for over 15 months ☹️
Recently I discovered 'Bumble' which seems like a good app and for the last week have been chatting to a guy who is hilarious, sounds very similar to me and we arranged to meet on Friday eve.
A couple of longish messages a day for the last few days and I've found myself thinking he could be someone significant and Fri could be a lot of fun.
And then I messaged him yesterday with my mobile no to say 'text me instead of messaging thru the dating app and ..... nothing! It's been maybe 24 hrs but I have a strong feeling I've been ghosted ?!
Can't help but feel a bit sad. Really wanted to meet up - perhaps I'm being a bit too keen-I rarely meet men that make me laugh
and who don't seem like idiots.
Is there ever a good outcome with online dating? Any suggestions (and please be brutal if you think I'm being too dramatic!)

This is sadly completely normal for OLD. Happened to me lots of times, and to be fair thinking about it I did it too to other people. No one tends to put all their eggs in one basket, and he would have been chatting to others, and one of them obviously overtook you in his interest stakes.

Or another possible explanation is that he is in the contingent who are actually already attached and only use these sites because they are bored and to flatter their ego. When shit got too real, in this case swapping numbers, he bailed.

Either is not nice, but the best bit of advice I ever had on here was ‘you know when a man’s interested, because he’s there’. If you feel like you have to chase him at this early stage where he should be going all out to impress you, he’s not really interested.

Oh sorry missed your last question - in terms of is there ever a good outcome, in my case no (and I gave it a very good go over a lot of years). Eventually met someone in real life who is better than everyone I met OLD put together. But I’m jaded, I know others have had success. There’s just hell of a lot of idiots compared to very few diamonds.

I went on bumble and ran out of people to swipe. I didn’t even think I was fussy!
I would just let it go. Nowt you can do about it now.
Don’t end up with someone who plays games or who is a bit vague it’s not worth it.

Thatcherscold I needed to read that
Thanks for being direct and kind 😀

Lowtide
Thank you 🙏🏽

Well.I'm married to the second man I met on Tinder so yes good outcomes are absolutely possible.

I think lots of people use old as a means of connecting but meeting in person can seem like a lot of work for both men and women tbh for all sorts of genuine reasons. I think that's why a lot of conversations die put when it comes to crunch time. It's not personal. It's all timing in my opinion. And what you're offerin or expecting matters to.

You’re welcome, I’m not saying give up, I would just learn quickly to have low expectations! So many time wasters.

And for me, the idea of meeting someone in such a contrived way just didn’t work. Had a few relationships from OLD but ultimately meeting someone without knowing their context (through meeting them in everyday life) was wrong. People can tell you literally whatever they like about themselves.

That said, if you protect yourself emotionally by not expecting much, and just see dating as a way to get out for the evening and potentially meet new friends if nothing else, there is some pleasure to be had from the experience.