I'm on the verge of going to therapy to try to sort out the mess that's inside my head and the way my family (by that I mean my mum and my sisters) makes me feel.
In my own world I'm ok. I have a loving husband, two daughters, am holding down a reasonable job which I like and have a hobby that interests me and that I get just enough time to pursue. I have some lovely friends both within and outside this hobby, which has been something I have done my whole life since I was 6 or 7.
When it comes to "my side" of the family, things are difficult. My eldest DD is 16, my DH is not her dad but we got together when she was 6. Things have been very tricky throughout teenage years, which has led to a relatively recent diagnosis of autism. I am trying my best to manage this, but it is and has been very difficult. She has left school and I know it isn't ideal, she does smoke cannabis, I don't genuinely feel I can make more of a fuss over this without pushing her further away. Apart from this, she is trying. We did have a fall out recently where she took herself off to my mum's, with her bags, as 16 year old tend to do. I let it go because she is vulnerable and at least I knew where she was.
So I have a strained relationship with my mum, I think it goes back to my childhood years. She married and divorced multiple times, various boyfriends in between, we didn't have much stability from that point of view and I have stark memories of hearing her having sex with said boyfriends during the day when we girls were left to fend for ourselves. She would absolutely deny this, but I think it's really damaged me. As an adult I am amazed that I have managed to maintain a stable marriage with that as an example, but there you go. Mum is also a heavy drinker when she isn't working and smokes cannabis (only for the last couple of years).
I also have 3 sisters. Out of the four of us I am the only one that has "settled down" (we are aged 28 - 36). One is currently also living at my DM's house, another lives away and the third lives locally. One has a DD the same age as my youngest. They are all what I would term party animals and drink and take drugs (cocaine usually) reasonably regularly. I am no angel and in my youth did this also but have not for well over ten years really, I'm happy to admit that. Nowadays I barely even drink a glass of wine a week!
My 16 year old who had gone to my DM's to stay messaged me to say that she had found crushed up cocaine in my mum's bathroom yesterday morning - she had been trying to sleep but 2 of my sisters had had a party until 6am. Obviously I have insisted that she comes home which she now has.
I have challenged my sisters about this but they can't see the problem. My DD also challenged them about it and quite frankly my elder sister spoke to her in the most horrific way (bearing in mind she was probably still high on drink/drugs). I have backed up my DD and told my sister I don't want to talk to her again. Mum is saying she can "understand my sister's point of view".
That is only the latest example in a long, long list of things. I had hoped over the last few years that everyone would start to calm down a bit but they're not - whatever, that's up to them but I can't relate to them at all, everything revolves around getting pissed. But what I really do resent is the way things are for my 16 year old, she is being shown such a poor example by them but I can't physically keep her away, in quiet times she likes spending time with her nan. We actually moved from a town further away to the same town as my family so that there could be more support - what a joke! I honestly feel a lot of the time that I would move to the other side of the couyto get away from them all, sadly my youngest DD has only really recently settled after we moved here 2 years ago and is very happy at school, with friends etc - I just couldn't do that to her.
I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve by posting this, if anyone actually gets to the end I owe you a 
It's just a nightmare!