Just had a fairly crap holiday with DH and the kids and it was all my fault. I did have horrendous PMT (period had gone AWOL and my mood definitely lifted once it finally arrived) but TBH a lot of it is there in the background at other times, it just gets on top of me when I am pre-menstrual.
DH and the kids have different interests to me - two teenage sons and they happen to like all the things that DH likes, which is great. But means that a "treat" day for them involves sport or rollercoasters or such things and I am the miserable bastard holding the bags and wishing I was having a treat too.
None of them are selfish or uncaring. I think the problem is me. I was brought up never to put my own wishes in front of others. I find it almost impossible to tell people what I want.... maybe that's my personality and not my upbringing but I have the words in my head and I literally don't seem to be able to say them. I tell people that I don't mind or that we should do what they want and then when we're there doing the thing I feel sad because I never do the things I like.
My parents have a weird relationship where my mum never wants anything (or never admits it) and my dad constantly exhorts her to treat herself. I guess I can't stop myself subconsciously waiting for DH to start urging me to do what I want whereas he (entirely reasonably) thinks that if I want to do something, I should mention it and then we can plan for everyone's preferences.
I know it's making me difficult to live with - passive aggressive and grumpy. I feel so miserable and daydream about living on my own and doing the things that I like - but that's not what I want. I love my husband and kids.
DH wants to talk about why I was so miserable on holiday. How do I talk to him about this, and how do I learn to talk about my wants and needs like a normal person?