Mum keeps commenting on my eating habits, how to make her stop?

[RubyN]

So basically i’m 26 and a size 10-12. I put on some weight recently following a brutal break up but nothing that won’t come off with healthy diet and exercise which I’ve started in the last week.

Recently I moved home for 1 1/2 months because I was coming close to a breakdown after the demise of my relationship and to save money before my new job starts. But she keeps making comments if she thins a lunch portion is too big etc.

Today’s example: I had 2 eggs & a piece of toast about 11.30am (she had 1 egg). Then we ran lots of errands and walked twice round a Loch. At 6 o’clock I had one small samosa as a snack (we’re making dinner for 7.30-8pm) and as soon as she saw the snack she commented I would never eat dinner. I’d had nothing else all day and felt starving?

Am I getting it wrong or she is she far too critical? She never eats breakfast apart from Sunday’s so she can hardly lecture me. The constant comments are upsetting although I obviously love her.

Oh yeah also I said I thought a skirt made my hips look big and she said ‘maybe you should get on a treadmill then’

That does not sound like enough food for the day...

Does your mum have an issue with food (as in her own diet)?

She sounds very critical.

My family sometimes criticise my eating habits but I've told them not to.

Think this her food issue rather than anything to do with you. Is she overweight or has she become obsessed with what she eats? Shoulds like she deflecting her food issues onto you.
A smiley 'yes mum' and ignore!

Maybe tell her to get on her bike....

The thing she needs to remember is a woman of 50ish doesn’t need as much food as a very stressed twenty something.

Not eating breakfast is not good. And I couldn’t survive on a couple of eggs, some toast and a samosa. Maybe she’s trying to help but don’t listen to her.

Is she worried about money?

Try SW you can annoy her no end with big portions and still lose weight.

It sounds like she is the one with the eating issue. I would try to move on quickly so you can have your own space and eat what you choose. That kind of commentary would drive me crazy.

She has been a smoker for most of my life (an appetite suppressant) & has recently quit again. She said she feels slightly over-weight and it’s true, she’s skinny everywhere but her tummy area.

She went walking with a friend recently and the friend was shocked when she said she’d had no breakfast and had to stop as she felt faint!

That's not enough food. I'd be eating my own leg by dinner time. Also, size 10-12 is really not big! How tall are you? Do you think she's jealous?

If you're leaving big gaps between meals your blood sugar is likely to be dropping, which can make you desperate. It sounds like you really needed the samosa because of the long gap between meals.

It's no good just waiting to eat at the right time, you'd be better eating more regularly. I know that isn't what you asked about - sorry! But I wouldn't want you to fall into the dieting trap rather than focusing on healthy eating.

As for your mum, she does sound like she's decided you're dieting and so she's going to remind you of it if she thinks you're doing something "bad".

That does not sound like a healthy intake of food. Does your mum have issues around eating? You'd be better off eating small meals more regularly. If you'd had the samosa or something else healthy at about 4pm, that would have staved off hunger pangs until dinner.

But, i think you sre asking how to stop your mum making these ridiculous comments. Would she stop if you said, look mum, you're really hurting my feelings when you say stuff like this? If she wouldn't stop, then you have to start training yourself not to care when she says these things.

My mum likes to make "jokes" about how fat i am, how rubbish my hair looks, etc. My new boyfriend, however, cannot get enough of me, my ex-BF wants to stay friends because he likes me still, i have amazing friends and a FWB who is gutted that i have just binned him off because of said new BF. Thats not supposed to be a boast, but just an illustration that even though my mum says unkind things, plenty of people still like me for who I am.

Thanks everyone...your responses have helped me feels its not just me!

I'm 5'5 and a size 10-12, probably erring more on the side of 12 just now. I only want to lose a bit of weight and tone up for the most part. I want to get back into eating healthily/less carbs most of the time as I always feel better overall.

I don't know why she makes the comments (as she never did when I was a teenager) but it upsets me because I already feel self conscious following the break up. funnylittlefloozie you make a good point! No man has ever kicked me out of bed...

We are actually having dinner at 9pm. Her stomach was sitting there rumbling for ages, with her taking no notice. I'm just not built the same way I'm afraid

I'd be planning to move back out again as soon as possible. Until then, call her on it firmly but politely every time she does it.

She's in the giving up smoking, fixating on food zone. She's substituting her smoking fixations with being being fixated on food. Not just her food, everyone's food. It happens, try not to take it personally. She's so determined to watch her own food intake (ex smokers fear putting on weight when they lose the appetite suppressant of nicotine) it's flowed over to yours.

I would guess that she is really hungry a lot of the time, but trying not to eat in order to lose weight. I reckon her hunger and preoccupation is making her jealous and snippy with you as you seem more relaxed around food.

You might be right Thingsdogetbetter. She gained weight previously when she quit so maybe that is partially the reason.

I think will try my best to just stick to the 'yes mum' tone while I get ready to move out again. It's a shame because I know she likes having me here but she can't help herself from being controlling in various ways. At least posting here has made me feel I'm not just a hungry monster!