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Am I right to be suspicious?

16 replies

Inexperiencedchick · 19/08/2018 17:35

Somehow the guy I am dating was behaving a bit strange...

Had a business trip to another continent and when back called me to have a chat... Was saying he has missed me and as soon as arrived home went to buy groceries and little things I like. Mentioned a polish bread in between he bought for me, saying you like polish bread.
I never said I do, although don’t mind...

We met up and had a quiet evening and were talking about his future project and I mentioned that when he starts seeking investments he would need some actions and etc. He then shows me a picture of a girl, in fact 4 pictures of a girl and says when he starts getting investments for his project he will hire this girl to work for him. She is polish and he has pictures of her on his phone and even said which picture of her he would post on his company website 😲

I’m not racist or anything else...

But this has warned me... Then we were doing something and I wanted to take pictures of us together, he didn’t allow me to swipe on to the first screen of the Iphone where the camera is. I tried again and he didn’t allow again. I then took my own phone and took a picture of us.

Before a trip he was acting hot and cold and I didn’t meet him when he wanted, but met another day, and found out he went to a musical with a friend, and suddenly became very quiet. I think he was trying to hide information about who he went with.

I didn’t ask, just said hope you enjoyed it.

He texted me on Friday asking to do something in the evening, I said I’m busy. And we arranged to meet on Tuesday.

While being at his, last time, I washed my underwear and wanted to leave it on the radiator. He told me not to. Before he wouldn’t bother about it at all. That made me thread very carefully from now on...

What would you do if you are in my shoes?

Do you think there is something going on?

OP posts:
BunnyGardener · 19/08/2018 17:48

Unfortunately, It does sound like there may be something going on...

being very possessive over his phone screams that there is something he’s really trying to hide. And what is with him showing you the pictures?!

Are you going to call him out on it?

Rigamorph · 19/08/2018 17:57

There is nothing on my phone I wouldn't let my OH see, and vice versa. I might be a little ashamed of the time I spend on internet forums...but that's a different matter!
How long have you been together? Does he seem honest in other respects?
If you have your doubts about his honesty that is a bad sign for the relationship. Whether he really is involved with other women, or just looking, or whether it is all innocent and it is unfounded suspicion I can't tell.
You could apologise to him for not trusting him but ask him to show you his phone as reassurance. Then see what happens.

Inexperiencedchick · 19/08/2018 18:07

I am not the person who will snoop and check, I usually leave it to the person to be honest with me. What I don’t want is to be used as a toy in someone else’s hands and walk all over me.

I wasn’t busy on Friday, just didn’t want to meet him. Now I’m dreading Tuesday.

It’s been on and off between us and perhaps he wants to find someone else.

He also said this: “You don’t offer me many things in bed (I say no to many things), but still enjoy intimacy with you than women who offer what I ask...”

OP posts:
Inexperiencedchick · 19/08/2018 19:33

And I don’t use make-up at all... He is always attracted to girls with a lot of make up on...

Plus him saying couple of weeks ago that he is going on holidays during Christmas and I can invite my sister again.

Seems he kind of checked out?

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 19/08/2018 19:37

Ugh. All sounds very seedy. Yes I would say he is letting you know that his attention is wandering and/or someone else is on the scene.

Beaverhausen · 19/08/2018 19:39

He sounds like a bit of a wally OP. Personally I would stop seeing him, something is definitely going on.

funnylittlefloozie · 19/08/2018 19:42

He sounds like a total idiot. You dont have to answer this but are you and he by any chance Lithuanian?

I think you should dump him and find someone nicer and less of an idiot.

Inexperiencedchick · 19/08/2018 19:51

I’m not a Lithuanian.

He is vegetarian, I’m not. But I never asked him to change himself.
3-4 weeks ago he told me he would like to start eating meat. My reply was “I would never ask you to do it and if you decide to do so, it should be totally your personal choice.”

OP posts:
Inexperiencedchick · 19/08/2018 19:52

We are both Asians but different culture/background.

OP posts:
Aprilshowersinaugust · 19/08/2018 19:56

If he is after things you don't offer are they odd things? Maybe he has an odd woman who provides them?
He sounds like he is implying he is doing you a favour by giving you some of his time tbh!

BeenthereandhavetheTshirt · 19/08/2018 19:57

Oh just dump him now - what's the point ? He's made it clear you are not high up on his list of priorities. You are well rid of him !

letsdolunch321 · 19/08/2018 20:02

Rather than seeing him Tuesday I would get rid of him now.

You don’t owe him anything, find yourself a decent man not one who is in it for himself.

funnylittlefloozie · 19/08/2018 20:07

How long have you been with him? I would be delighted if my partner bought me Polish bread (I like it!!) but it seems an odd thing to buy and make a big thing of buying, if the other person isnt bothered about it.

To be honest, you dont even sound that into him. Do you really fancy him, want to be with him, does he give you butterflies?

BelleEnd1 · 19/08/2018 20:16

Gawd this all sounds a bit weird, I'd find somewhere else to wash your knickers if I were you

Inexperiencedchick · 19/08/2018 20:18

No butterflies, but I fancy him. I find him attractive.

And my post is to find out if I’m overthinking these little details.

I can dump him anytime I want, maybe just not ready yet.

OP posts:
NadiaLeon · 19/08/2018 20:20

Just dump him. Good relationships don't have this sh1t going on....

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