Hi have a DH and three kids dd 11, ds 5 and ds 3.
I'm really struggling with various parts of our life and I feel so low and helpless. To be blunt, I'm struggling with the six weeks holidays. I have two special needs kids, both with aspergers so it's really tough. And a three year old who's, we'll three. My house has become overwhelmingly dirty, there hasn't been a single day something wasn't broken, I've become so depressed I have insomnia and my partner has took up working seven days a week. I've asked him not to and told him I'm not coping. Always crying, exhausted etc but he says he needs to, so he can pay off his debts. Debts he had before we got together. I have my own personal debts too, but he refuses to help me pay them off even though I've given him money towards his and his car etc. Not to mention, the worry I have come April. I get some child tax, this money is used every week to buy all our food, gas, electric, school expenses, pet food/car, majority of ours and the kids clothing, I put petrol in his car every week and pay for anything else like public transport, or if something needs to be bought for the house. His wages cover our rent, council tax, car tax, car insurance, phone. Anyway, he's already worked too much and we will have our money (child tax) stopped in April. What he brings in, in overtime, isn't the same level we receive in child tax. We are going to be hugely out of pocket. They tried to stop it this April, but I appealed because of our debts and general inability to make all our payments and received some child tax which we were told would stop the following April. So I don't know what we are going to do and he just won't reason with me. Today (Sunday) he's gone to my aunties to paint for her. He's told me not to expect him to be back before 8pm. By which the two youngest will be in bed. I'm running on empty, I can't clean the house, I have a few misterious illnesses that are making me unable to stand or walk for more than 10mins at a time and then needing to sit or rest for as long as an hour before I can do anything again. This too is causing me to feel down. My 11yr old who has aspergers anyway, is taking on what I feel, is too much. I don't think she should be doing the dishes, washing and preparing the food for us, but without her doing so, I physically couldn't do anything. Myself and my other half have no friends at all. It's just us. And we have a few family members, but most of them are too busy to see us. I haven't seen or spoken to another adult, other than my partner for around 4 weeks. Next week my sister is coming to visit for a week with her three kids. Who I cannot bare, as much as I adore them. The last time they came, the police were called because her son smashed the neighbours car window because I said no he couldn't use the tablet. So he called me a fat b*h, ran out the house and did that. Not to mention he broke my sons Xbox, punched me so often I ended up with a massive black eye, was violent to my children, broke a bed, tried to smash my partner over the head with a mop handle, refused to go to bed and would stay up all night running around the house, trying to break down locked doors and swearing like you've never heard. The police were also funnily enough called because of his melt down and a neighbor though someone was being hurt! He tried to kill my cat by wrapping it up in a blanket and leaving it in a box. And many other things. By the way, this was only over the May Bank Holiday weekend! Three days and he accomplished all of that and more. Her eldest was just a bit cheeky so not much of a problem and youngest wasn't as bad, but he threw a cup of tea up my newly painted living room wall, wiped poo all over my bathroom, drew on furniture, laughed in my face when I told him off for taking one bite out of all the apples, then dropping them on the floor and stealing food. The violent son also went missing at one point and when I raised it to my sister in a fit of panic, she just said "What? Oh, Erm. I don't know where he is" then looked straight back at her phone. She didn't get off her phone or the sofa and myself and my partner had to go looking for him. We found him unhurt and fine, he was in the field across the road. She didn't tell her kids off once when they were last here and they didn't have any clothes or toiletries with them, so we had to provide everything. I feel like I couldn't say no to my sister though, she's going through a divorce and also has bpd aswell as depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and tendencies and psychotic episodes. Which aren't unmanageable as long as you know what you are doing. So I feel like I need to help her and her children. I love them deeply. But I am very down about them coming. Knowing full well I won't have her to help me or my partner to help me and I'm already struggling massively with my own house and children.
I'm not really looking for loads of advice or attention. Just writing of of this down has already helped me loads.