Sorry for what will be a long post.
I'm married to the most amazing man, he's kind and generous. He's also my 3rd husband. The first I was very young and had two kids, now 23 and 26, still living at home, their dad was abusive and when he left I stupidly started seeing someone else who offered me and my kids somewhere to stay, he was also abusive and controlling. We got married as I thought that he would.be better after it, he was not. I had agreed to work foro a long spell abroad to get space from him. That's where I met and fell in love with my husband, we have a beautiful child together and I thought we were happy. He's told me that I'm always mum and there's no romance left. He's said it's difficult with my older kids living with us, to be fair I'd not expect them to still be at home, both are saving for deposits. We did have this bombshell last month on holiday and I've been trying but guess have fallen into bad habits of not putting him first.
He said last night when we are both very drunk he feels dead inside and wants a separation. I am devastated, scared and embarrassed, my world is ending.
I am absolutely desperate which is so not attractive but will do anything to keep him but fear it's too late.
I am letting him sleep and pray he'll wake up and it'll be fine but I know that's just not possible.
Help, advice, xx