Don't think dp fancies me any more

[elmo1980]

Childish title I know but I am pretty convinced this is the case and I'm really upset about it.

I posted the following thread about a month ago and the general consensus was that it's early days with 2 small children don't put pressure on etc (link to post here as too much detail to write again)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3304763-Relationship-changing-after-second-child

So a month has passed and ds2 is now sleeping through consistently (yay) so I said to dp why don't you start coming into bed with me for a bit before you go back into your room for the night. We did this with ds1 and it's how we got the intimacy back before sharing a room again. He was very much up for doing that and said he couldnt wait.

That was a week ago and nothing's happened. No mention of it at all. He can't be tired as we both get decent nights sleep now and he finds time to go for a run etc. I just cannot think of any other reason than hes gone off me.

I dont want to bring it up with him again as it's always me who raises it and I don't want to make him feel obliged to do it if he doesn't want to.

But I'm left thinking what does this mean for our relationship now? I don't think I could get over him not finding me attractive any more and whilst I'm trying to lose the baby weight (half a stone to go) and get back to being me I wasn't doing it for his benefit but now I feel hes waiting for me to look a a bit better then he will want me again.

I'm babbling now so will leave it there but any advice appreciated. Thank you

dont' think mine does either but meh to it

find your own fun

I have read your other thread but if it’s been a while do you think he’s a bit nervous?

Could you take dramatic action and say you’re heading to bed you’ll see him in there naked? Might feel a bit risky and he might say no but it would break the deadlock and you’d get an idea of where he was at. Worse he can say is he doesn’t feel like it. Best that can happen is he jumps at the chance and you get back on track.

Or leave bedrooms out of it and go for a cuddle on the sofa that could go either way?

Your relationship and having physical closeness as part of it is very important and it’s affecting your self esteem and spilling over into other parts of your lives so it’s worth tackling.