My husband says he loves me but dor any like to be sexual with me

[Karanina]

He says he loves me deeply but that the physical ruins it for him and he feels he has a pure love and that the physical is not something that he wants. He is not seeing another (it's a long story but I'm sure of this fact) and he is a wonderful man and great husband but I have been suffering for over a decade with what I now realise was constant sexual rejection. Has anyone else had to deal with this

A decade of this?! Run for your life and start over. This is no way to live.

Well only you can decide whether you’re happy with a sex free relationship. If you are then crack on, if not then leave.
Wouldn’t work for me.

Me and my exh, I left after 5 years of no intimacy.

Op it's completely up to you whether this is acceptable in your relationship.
For me personally I would find the use of the word "pure" a little weird. Like can you not be "pure" if you're having sex? Is he seeing it as a sordid or dirty thing? That might be me overthinking.

A 'pure' love. WTF does that mean? Does he regard sex as impure? I certainly wouldn't be happy being with someone who regards sex with me as impure. If sex disgusts him, why did he get married? Marraige involves sex, unless agreed by both people (!), otherwise it's a friendship.

Did he tell you this before you married and you married him anyway? If not, he deceived you and I personally would be out the door.
He can be a wonderful man and a great friend, while you go and find a wonderful man and great husband who doesn't make you feel sexually rejected because of some hang up they have.
Pure love my fucking arse!!

Tough one OP.
You shouldn't force him into anything he's uncomfortable with, and ask yourself what advice you'd give him if the roles were reversed.
But no sexual intimacy again is v v hard to live with. Not sure I could do it....

Should he see a doctor? It's not normal

Another option is the discussion of an open relationship

So if he's so uninterested in sex he should be glad for you to get your needs met elsewhere, right?

That would be option 1 for me. Option 2 would be leaving. Constant rejection is soul-shrivelling.

My friend's dh didn't want sex with her after she bore him dc.
He had a substantial porn collection - questionable material which she chose to ignore - the worst kind.
He moved out eventually but continued to control her life.
Make the break op - physically and emotionally or you will be ground done to nothing.

My ex told me he had no sexual urges after a while. Something didn't feel right. Found him on POF, set up fake profile. Messaged him offering nsa. He lapped it up and wanted to see "me" straight away. There you are. No sexual urges.

Ah the Madonna / whore complex

Ichy, that's a bloody marvellous thought. Just read up on that. Very interesting

Just read about that that's exactly what he has except he doesn't sleep around. I have to say he is a bit of a saint but does have a problem with drink and does have mum stuff. How is this complex treated and has anyone had a similar experience and how did it resolve or complete?

I mean this in the nicest possible way but is there a chance that he maybe isn't straight and is using the relationship as a cover up?

I would assume a man who felt this way was either repressed gay or using prostitutes because he has a madonna/whore problem.

It’s a response to toxic masculinity in society that woman are either mothers or sex objects it’s pretty fucked up and perpetuated by the way women are treated in the media .

I thought maybe he's gay? I see others are thinking the same...

Mine was like this. He turned out to be gay. We still get along well, and love each other as friends, but when he came out, even though I was shocked, when I thought about it, I wasn’t very surprised.

My situation was like this. More recently though I've had to put up with snide remarks and unkind behaviour. It started with a sexless marriage. I'm still here stuck and miserable and know that being alone would be better. Rejection is the worst. OP if you can extract your self from the situation you would be better off.

I can't believe the depth of feedback I have received. I was feeling very alone and adrift. I'm very grateful for all your answers. Thank you so much