So my situation is that I came out of a decade long marriage a year ago. Since then I have only been involved in a couple of unhealthy short term things which, in retrospect, I was too vulnerable to handle well.
Even a year on (and maybe reeling a little from getting hurt) I still feel like I am finding my feet, not ready to undergo all a LTR requires.
However, I met someone six months ago, and after several months of friendship we agreed to try FWB. He is in an almost identical situation - divorce, no children, not ready to date etc.
He is genuine, cares about my feelings, so different to my recent experiences. We have been able to be open and honest with each other from the outset. And the sex is great, probably the best I have ever had. Fast forward to a month in and we are spending more time together, eating and sleeping over. Despite this we maintain we are FWB only.
I still feel in my gut this is all I can manage, and some things just don't work between us. For instance we have very a different sense of humour, to the point where it makes me cringe sometimes. Added to this a few of his mannerisms irritate me.
I feel so bad saying all this because he is such a good person, to the point where I feel I should be open to something more.
All this has meant I am now starting to become anxious about our situation...
On the one hand I don't want to go back to friends: I would really miss the sex/intimacy/affection, would feel a like yet another loss and I would lonely again. Added to which I fear we couldn't carry on as a non-sexual relationship now and so would lose him completely.
I do look forward to seeing him and to be able to plan things with someone has been lovely.
On the other I can't see this developing further: I just don't know if I have it in me now, there are certain levels (humour etc) that we don't connect on.
Just feel I cant pass up the combination of great sex with someone who treats me well. I have never had both. To feel desirable is a complete revelation to me - ex, although nice person, had little sexual interest in me. And the two people I was briefly involved with post relationship, I had great sexual chemistry with but they treated me poorly.
So I guess what I am asking for, is does anyone have any advise? Have you been in a similar situation? I am so confused. I just don't seem to be able to think straight...