I’ve known my partner for 15 years and there are still days when I feel like we don’t know each other at all. We have children together aged 13 and 10. I left him when youngest was 3 because I wanted to move to the village where my children attended schools and he was always completely unwilling to move house. But this was just one issue among many many others. He never opened up to me before about anything and still doesn’t now. He won’t ever plan anything or discuss the future, he lives in each moment and that’s all there is. He’s cold emotionally and sometimes doesn’t even touch me from one week to the next. After we split, I stayed single for a couple of years and tried dating but didn’t meet anybody special. In the meantime he was always there supporting me and the kids financially and just being a good dad. We starting seeing each other again. We remained in our separate homes spending weekends, holidays etc together as a family. This went on for around 5 years. Early on this year I took the decision to move back in with him. Financial burdens were weighing heavy on my shoulders and I was tired of living this strange ‘divided’ life where I had no hope of moving on and was still living like a single mum in many ways. We are living together now, the kids have settled back into their old rooms and we are ticking along. The problem is that he is still him. I didn’t really expect anything else. I had to make a call to commit to us once and for all or split properly and I really felt I could never move on and divide my family and create a new family - I know plenty of people achieve this but I just didn’t feel I could. He is still the same, won’t discuss plans, private about money, won’t discuss feelings, goes to bed at different times to me, if I want to talk about something serious, he changes subject and makes jokes. He’s emotionally withdrawn. He spends whole evenings staring at his iPad not talking to me. It’s a complete communication dead zone. Nothing has changed. I feel like 14 years ago when I chose to have a child with him I made a decision that I now have to live with. Like a prison sentence. I must serve my time until my kids leave home and then I will be free again to live my life in the company of somebody who cares I exist or maybe nobody just me living peacefully alone.