Helping friend-domestic violence

[Themissingpuzzlepiece]

Need advice for a friend who has been suffering domestic violence for years. Struggling to help her as she keeps going back and forth (still loves him, wants to help him etc) She has booked into a b&b with her 3 kids as he has attacked her again. She has booked for a few days and says she will see how things go and I worry that means she'll go back. She has said that a big reason for going back is housing and s3curity for her kids. She is worried that if she leaves she'll be placed miles away from any support and she won't cope . Is there any way round This? Can she stay with friends or family until something close by comes up? She's also worried about affording starting over again. When she said she was leaving he took all her belongings and threw them into the road. She has salvaged some things but some of it is ruined. I've told her to contact women's aid and CAB but I think she is paralysed by fear and I know from experience that local CAB are useless.

Could do with some direction so that I can help her. I want to stop her going back to him if at all possible (I know it's easier said than done)

shelter would be able to advise her on the housing side of things. I know they try to move people out of the area but she clearly needs to be near family for support so I wouldnt worry too nuch about that.

Thank you. She has gone back to him unfortunately. I have looked at the site and will do my research so that I can help her next time.

The housing situation is a massive problem government cuts and lack of social housing mean women are being moved across the country.

I think your friend is going to have to realise that she may have to relocate. I have complete sympathy for her, I was asked to get to a refuge on the isle of weight, I live in London .

That doesn't mean she shouldn't leave, is she able to stay with you until she sorts herself out?

Just seen she's gone back, I suppose all you can do is be there for the next time unfortunately.

I hope she realises she needs to leave.

If you stand your ground the council will not relocate. I moved due to abusive ex and im still in london. They say that to put people off. I remember when I first went to the council as homeless due to DV she laughed me out the building. As soon as I got specialist help I was rehoused under a priority and stayed in the area. Its a shame shes gone back hopefully one day she will leave for good.

I offered her a room at mine as soon as she told me what had happened. She knows she needs to leave but can't seem to get the strength to do it. She says she worries how he'll cope if she leaves. I think she's reluctant to tell anyone it's dv as she doesn't want him to get into trouble so I think that's hindering things. I've told her on several occasions that she can stay for as long as she needs, I wish she could just do that. I'm also torn as it would seem that he's having the kids and a few things have happened where he isn't watching them and they could have gotten hurt (but they didn't) At the end of the day the kids are the priority as they can't keep themselves safe but at the same time I don't want to speak to social services and nothing come of it and then she'll stay with him, the abuse get worse and her cut off her only support (me) because of it.