Just after some reassurance that I'm not the only one in this weird relationship with my mum?!
I have 2 children- one is 7 the other 1. I've just recently returned back to work on a part time basis. My mum has always had 7year old 1 day a week on her day off and husbands mum 3 a week as she doesn't work. Since returning to work my own mum has stopped having either child- but without any discussion- I feel incredibly awkward bringing it up as I appreciate she is doing us a huge favour. When I do see her all she never seems happy to see us- she is tired, overworked, has too much to do, will plant to " squeeze" a visit in one morning to see kids etc. She lives with her husband in a small house that requires very little in terms of cleaning / upkeep- she keeps it very tidy but not a lot of mess is created ever if you see what I mean.
Tonight me and H both have to work so I asked a few days ago if she could put youngest to bed as eldest is at friends. Yes no problem. She has turned up tonight and I've just left to make work feeling hugely guilty . She has just moaned about being tired, what I made for her tea which she was fine with on phone 3 hours ago. I dare say I'm tired because she will be more so, same if I'm ever poorly etc then she is much more ill etc. I just don't feel like I can win ever- I'm either working too much or not enough, we don't do enough with the kids or we go on too many holidays etc etc. It's all incredibly jumbled and I'm probably not making much sense but I'm just exasperated! I've said to H I'm not going to ask again for babysitting, she agrees but I'm left feeling guilty so I can never enjoy any time she has them wether it be for social or work.
I feel worse as mother in law is brilliant and such a help and generally seems to be happy to see the children and us as a family and I feel my husband is aware of this and it's hard not to compare..... gah. Thanks 😳