Last week was our first wedding anniversary following dday in May (he'd cheated while living away through the week for work, with a friend, we were together for 7 years at the time, she knew about me). Last year he forgot for the first time. We were arguing around that time (funnily enough, about him keeping something from me...) so I don't know if it was subconsciously deliberate.
This year he made an effort. I'd told him last year that if he couldn't remember things like that, he should put it on google calendar, which he did, so I'm not actually giving him massive credit for remembering himself. Anyway, he got me a card, book (not a great choice, but vaguely in my interest zone), and flowers. I got him nothing. Even though the A was pre-marriage, I feel like a second choice, guilt relationship, and the marriage is tainted because he lied all the way through it. I feel like I married under false pretenses, and was somehow tricked into it because I hadn't known the truth. Consequently, I don't feel like celebrating the anniversary. I think I might have felt somewhat more appreciated if he'd taken the day off work to do something, or booked dinner out. Hell, even if he'd said we'd get a takeout!
He didn't say anything on getting back from work, but was obviously quiet, cold, and not making any effort. He's usually been trying to do the right thing since I found out, but behaved like a complete bastard beforehand. He was denying it even as I told him I had the confirmation message from OW in my hand. Also told me at that point (rather than admit the truth) that it would be best if we got a divorce.
So three months down the line from this, I'm having a hard time thinking I want to celebrate the marriage. I don't know if he feels that's hypocritical, as I expected him to make the effort (I didn't damage the relationship, he did, so surely he should be putting more effort in to fix what he damaged?). So is he justified in being put out that I didn't get him anything?