Posted before - I could really do with some parenting advice

[Bubblesandcake]

Single parent to 2 dd's 13 and 10.
13 year old struggling with her weight and now really anxious going back to school in year 9. She thinks she's 'dumb' (her words). She is in her own little world most of the time but usually confident. She goes to a dance/singing club twice a week, so confident.
My 10 year old dd has had trouble sleeping on her own bed for a few years so I bought a double bed for my 13 year old and she sleeps in there. Some nights she would want to cuddle in with me and I allowed her to. Then my 13 year old would want to. I never sleep properly. So I stopped it.
After about 2 years of this routine my 10 year old started saying she couldn't sleep. I thought she was being spoilt (as she can be) so was quite strict in not allowing her in my bed. I didn't want to give in and it's my only bit of space. My life is busy, 3rd year nursing student and working and parenting alone as their father doesn't help at all.
Anyway, last week my 10 year old told me she hears the devil in her head at night time saying mean things. It's her voice but has to be the devil because who else would be saying it and she is kind, and doesn't think mean things (her words).
I was in complete shock. Posted here. Had lots of advice and felt comforted. I felt like I had not been emotionally available.
Anyway, she has been in my bed for the past week (so as my other dd some nights). I'm exhausted. No space. No sleep.
My 10 uear old asked why I am allowing her and I have explained as she is finding night times difficult and distressed about what she is hearing/thinking then I want to help. I have tried to talk about her thoughts etc. I have offered to sleep in her room (My 13 year olds room) until she falls asleep. Headphones. Tv. She will not accept anything other than in my bed.
I want to help. The thing is she is very spoilt and wants her own way all of the time. If I tell her she is wrong she has a melt down. She can not be wrong. I'm now scared to tell her she is being mean (to her sister) or she is in the wrong as she shouts that she doesn't want this life. She told my 13 year old dd that she can't live with the devil.
I know it's her thoughts not voices. Because she is so kind and thoughtful she doesn't want to thonk it's her thinking unkind things (people look fat, she doesn't like what a person's wearing, why has she got a boyfriend - these are some thoughts, she won't tell me anymore).
Sorry so long. I am just wondering how I go about dealing with this now. I'm really struggling in my 3rd year anyway. I don't have any help. I feel emotionally drained.

Hi OP, I can hear how much you love your DDs and how much you've got going on in life, trying to make sure you all have a good future. 10 and 13 can be tricky ages, as one or both DDs could be hitting puberty, and there'll have been transitions at school for the oldest, and coming up for the youngest. And it's hard growing up these days for lots of young people.

It sounds like your youngest has shared a lot with you just lately, and I think that suggests she feels you are there for her / listen to her.

As for the sleeping, I wonder if it's got into a pattern with a lot of stress involved. I'm reading it as your goal is to get your own bed back for you, so you can sleep well, and perhaps your DD's goal is to have comfort/security from being with you. Are there any things that might help DD relax more before sleep (sleep hygiene), that you could start building into a routine? (Maybe something that can be continued when she tries sleeping away from your bed.) You might already have lots of things you do, so apologies if that's stating the obvious.

Does your oldest DD talk about what it is about going back to school that she's unhappy about?

Be gentle with yourself. From what you write it's clear you are trying to do your best for you all, which is what I think being a parent is all about.