I dont kmow what to do and need some advice. Me and my dh have been married for two years together for 9. I've always worked and kept both of us, he flits in and out of part time jobs but never anything for more than a year of so. My job can be pretty stressful at times and I admit I can sometimes bring it home and not be as sympathetic or loving as I probably should be . I don't expect my dh to do much around the house, I know he gets stressed out about it so I usually just ask for a specific thing to be done like water the plants or wash up etc. I know he has anxiety so I don't mind keeping us both and don't mind doing things around the house when I get chance.
A few months ago out of the blue he told me he wants a divorce. I was devastated and angry that he hadn't mentioned he was unhappy. He left and went to stay with his brother. We did speak about it and he told me I'm always unhappy and ask him to do things without appreciating what he does. He told me I am impulsive and don't ever think things through, always take on too much at work etc etc. I told him we could work through it I would work on my mood and do more around the house to take pressure off etc etc, as you do.
Last week he announced that he is going to stay with his brother (100 miles away) because he can't deal with life at the moment, he needs to find a job so he will look there and come back at weekends and other couples live this way. He told me I again take on too much and the stress is too much for him. He said I make all the decisions and decide how we are going to live and what I'm going to do work wise without consulting with him.
I asked how long this arrangement is for, he told me I could change my job and work less if he finds a job and we can both contribute to the house. So after it had settled down I asked him what the plan will be if I leave my job and we move as I will take a significant pay drop and need to know how we are going to do it, like now or in a few months etc. He didn't have any answers. So I asked if the plan is for us both to move and then live together or not, he said nothing and told me he doesn't know.
We sho talk every day even though he's at his brothers, but he won't really speak out our marriage or the plan. The more I think about it the more hurt I feel. He seems so indifferent towards me and our marriage. I don't want a marriage where we live in two different places and only see each other now and then. And I don't want a marriage that falls apart every time there's hard times or I have a difficult time at work and therefore can't devote my time to my husband.
I love him and want my marriage to work I wouldn't have dedicated 9 years to us if o didn't. But I'm at a loss of what to do. I feel like I'm holding on to something that might not happen.
I think I just need someone to tell me life will work out ... I feel like such a failure and a bad person