My dh wanted to name our firstborn after his ex girlfriend.

[Bellarina3]

I'm out of the relationship now. But it's only now I have some peace and quiet I can really appreciate how batshit crazy was my exdh's suggestion that we give our first baby the same name as his ex-girlfriend. I was such a mouse back then I just said 'Err I don't really like it'. The suggestion made me feel really uncomfortable. Even more so as his mother loved the name too. Then I had to dodge the 'Well just use it as a middle name then'. What sort of person could come up with that as an idea & think it's a winner? Sadly there was a WHOLE pile more crap like that which I took for years because I was too traumatised to do any different. It's only now with the benefit of therapy and some decent distance I can really appreciate the situation I was in.

It speaks volumes about him being incapable of putting himself in your position

Hi. Does your daughter 'just' have the same name as your ex-husband' ex-gf, or is she literally named after her? Did he actually say "I want to name our daughter after 'Jane'"?

Sorry , read op again and see that you didn't use the name for your daughter.

I have the same middle name as my Dad's ex. i have no idea why my mum accepted this. I changed it a few years back.

My eldest stepdaughter has the same name as one of her dad's exes.

The first my girlfriend knew about this was when she fell pregnant with the second girl, and he suggested a name. His mum was there and said "you can't name the second one after an ex as well!"

My girlfriend wasn't best pleased. It's a lovely name thankfully.

I think he just suffers from a chronic lack of imagination to be honest.

Interesting thread. My exDH dumped me for his OW, we got divorced and they had a DD. He named her after me, which makes me wonder if he thought he'd maybe done the wrong thing ..... !! I have no idea what OW/new wife thought of it at the time.

They sound like ridiculous people.

It's funny how sometimes it's the smaller, really weird, outrageous things that niggle, isn't it? Specific incidents that you look back on and think "WTAF?"

I guess it's because they're easier to get your head around than a overwhelming, constant background lack of respect.