Can he force me to stay?

[lostoutinlondon]

I think I am going to end up leaving my H. Have tried to sort it but he is always sulking and unpleasant, and I am worried about our 2 year old.
We live in London, which I hate. He says he 'won't allow' me to go back to Cardiff with our son, because it is 'too far'. Can he stop me leaving? Or force me to live somewhere else? I don't want to stay here and cannot afford to anyway. Anyone know?

If I were you I'd just go and not tell him. Then let the shit hit the fan later.
Or stop listening to his threats and see a solicitor but don't tell him anything.

Why are you worried about your dc?

I don't like dc in the hostile environment.H sulks and is rude to me all the time.

I tried to leave before. He's called the police. Tells them I am unstable, or I hit him, or other stuff. So I am scared. I don't want him sending police after me.

What is he like as a father? As your DC has a right to have his father in his life.
If he is abusing and your child would be at risk, I say move. If you just aren't getting on and the relationship is breaking down id say it's unfair to move so far away, as the only person to suffer will be your DC

Thanks, Redpill. He is ok as a father, pretty good. I have no desire to cut him out of dc life. Just think that while H is so hostile there is no improving the situation.

I'm not suggesting you stay, you should definitely leave any hostile situation for your own happiness and the happiness of your child.
I was just trying to work out if moving so far away was necessary for your own safety.
Could you look to move slightly out of London, where the rents are more reasonable but you child will still have regular access to the father without excessive travel?

I could, but it would still be pretty expensive. Wales is cheap rent! I am from there originally, anyway.

The rent may be cheap, but you are taking a child away from his/her father. Will you be prepared to travel regularly to ensure a relationship can be maintained

To answer the specifics legally, he could go to court to get a Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) which, if the judge agreed to it, would stop you moving your DC whilst the issue of long term arrangements was sorted out.

If you still couldn’t agree between you, via mediation, it would then go to a contested court hearing and CAFCAS may be asked to report on whether the child’s interests would be hurt by moving.

I’ll be honest, you’ll probably get to move away, but may find that the court makes you do the majority of the travelling for pick ups and drop offs etc. It’ll also end up costing you both a lot of time, money and heartache. Even if you choose to represent yourself in court, there’s a lot of time and effort involved in putting together documentation, stating your reasons for the move etc.

Ultimately, as PP have said, you are talking about putting 3 hours plus of travelling (depending on traffic) or an expensive rail journey between your DC and his father. It will fundamentally alter the relationship between them (I know from first hand experience) and mean your H has no opportunity to be meaningfully involved in your DC’s day to day life.

Thank you for that, I'm really grateful for the details - it helps to see other perspectives because it's very easy to get caught up emotionally with this stuff.

Speak to women’s aid.
Get legal advice.
See if
Your local police station has a domestic abuse unit.

Have a chat with Womens Aid.
They can help you with all of this.
He is abusive and a liar.
But honestly, I'd just get out.
Don't tell him anything.
Just pack when he's out and go home.