Narcissistic people - do they get worse with age? Even in retirement?

[Teabay]

Have you known any who changed for the better during their life?

It seems so sad that someone I know is getting more self centered as they pass 70...

Narcissists are different and it depends on the way they identify as a narcissist and what is important to them in their own ideation of their grandiosity.

For example, a narcissist who roots his grandiosity in his wealth may get worse as his wealth increases.

A narcissist who roots his grandiosity in his sexual prowess may act out as he ages and realises he is no longer that attractive and can't get women/men.

Yes I believe they do get worse with age. The one thing I regret is not confronting the problem sooner & more often. My difficult DM is in her 90s now so I have had a bloody lifetime of it.

Worse with age. They lose the manipulative gloss they needed when at work. My dad revolts me now. It's like watching a monster at work, bullying everyone he meets into slaving away for him for free, then bitching about them behind their backs, while he sits on pots of money and plays pauper. He barely speaks to me now as I refuse to do a four hour round trip to hang out his washing when he has hundreds of thousands in the bank and can pay someone local to do it. I'm not a human being in his eyes, just a vessel that refuses to be filled with his venom, so what's the point of me? (It has crossed my mind that my DSis wrote the original post on this thread.)

@Lordamighty - is longevity another narc trait? DF has often announced he intends to be immortal. He's often joked that he's God too. They seem to have such an immense sense of their own importance that the world should not be robbed of their presence. DF has ailments that would have killed off most people but he's fizzing with furious, imperious life.

Worse IME - their charms wear off, especially looks related, their circle gets smaller as more people catch on to them and the more bridges they burn and therefore their opportunities for 'supply' are reduced. I've never known one to improve their behaviour. My narc mother has been pulling the same stunts for 40 years now.

One thing I note is they are very unhappy people inside.

In my case, it got worse. My Mum left her job because she believed it was beneath her but blamed me. Then had more time to write and say poisonous, disgusting things and tried to coerce / guilt me into leaving my precious son with her. Like PP have said, she's become bitter since her looks are going. She can't stand another woman being appreciated for their looks. She has a very small circle. My sister (also narc imo) only goes round because my Mum cooks for her and buys her things.

#Glaciermints,
For example, a narcissist who roots his grandiosity in his wealth may get worse as his wealth increases

Thank you! You have just answered why Ex ramped up his behaviour when he got a new job that dramatically increased his earnings. I could not understand why he was so awful given how comfortable our life was. When I met him he was penniless and I was much more financially secure and he was "nice" as his behaviour was passive aggressive. When the money rolled in he became overtly aggressive.

Many narcisstics hate aging so behaviour gets worse. Ex's mother refused to be called grandmother as it made her feel old. Her grandchildren had to call her by her first name.

The good health is something I have noticed, Ex and his mother are never ill, rarely succumb to a cold let alone anything serious. I suspect it is because they are so selfish and ensure they get what they need.

The general rule about narcissists seems to be that they get worse with age. I'm not sure why this is; it might be that any inhibitions decrease, or whether it's about them having to confront their own mortality.

I also think as their behaviours have driven people away they have less people around them to moderate their behaviour so it escalates.

A narcissist who roots his grandiosity in his sexual prowess may act out as he ages and realises he is no longer that attractive and can't get women/men.

I know a histrionic woman like this. She is in her 30s and seems to have gotten worse. She hangs around a 17 year old, follows men connected to any male interests (even though she has a partner) around dressed like an 18 year old out clubbing in an effort to get information from them.

When women tire of her behaviour she goes on a full on smear campaign. She accused a shop worker of body shaming her (she never did) and the worker lost her job over it, only a young girl too. This from a woman who encourages her child to tell another child at school that her mum is a "fat waddling bitch".

When men she is persueing in some way get tired of her behaviour she stalks and tries to blackmail them into a relationship. She acts as though she is a wife whos been cheated on. Its absolutely bizarre. Shes gotten worse since being a teenager.

@lifebegins50

The one i was talking about has gradually lost absolutely everyone beecause of her behaviour. She claims she cut them out. Reality is everyone including her family refused to have the constant shit.

I know 2 people who changed as they aged.
Less evil/abusive but I would NEVER, EVER trust them.

@MinaPaws - my DM has been dying for as long as I can remember. She has now outlived 2 husbands, younger siblings and most of her friends of a similar age. Although she is frail due to age she is rarely ill.
@Lonelystarbuckslover - are you my brother? Probably not but you are describing my DM with unnerving accuracy.

No definitely not Lord! Not so D-M did go off and have a second family of sons when her first one of daughters (me being one of them) stopped giving her enough supply (ie started becoming more independent as kids do) I hear through the grapevine now that they have their own lives and girlfriends and stuff that their supply isn't sufficient to her. Except now she can't just produce another family. She's going to end up very lonely indeed.

I'm sorry you are seeing parallels, it's awful.