Hello Mumsnetters,
I am in a bit of a pickle.
DS dad, my ex, really wants us to get back together, be a family, live together and eventually buy a house together. Sounds great ? But I’m not so sure.
We had a huge argument over the phone, which stated off with him saying “ I want to settle down, I’m going to be 26, I really want us to become a united family, live together and eventually buy a house together”. I replied to him “What’s the point of thinking so far ahead, when you don’t look after DS, complain about financially supporting him, don’t see him often, don’t emotionally support me, a family is not about you, me and DS, it’s about us supporting each roger, financially, emotionally and physically. As of now, you don’t do that, not only that I would be a bit naive of buying a house with you, as say we split up, and we have issues regarding who house is this, you may take the house”.
Ex then replied “Oh my gosh, why are you being so negative, your going to regret not being a family, your so stupid about the house thing, you may be intelligent but you don’t know about the world, your delusional, I’”m going to break it down s-low-ly so you can understand, it’s common sense that because you have DS the court will favour you, as you have a child”.
Also, he puts all the blame on me, currently, he is struggling with paying the bills, maintaining the house, he claims it’s because child maintance are taking a huge amount of his money, including the arrears. He said and quoted “You (me) are a fuck up, you fucked up my life, because of your stupidness (child maintenance) I’m struggling to pay my bills, I can’t maintain my house and now Im having to get loans, my life doesn’t revolve around DS, I need to sort out my own shit”.
Why would I want to be with someone who puts me down ? My reasons for not wanting to settle down with him, are met with putting myself a at fault , not moving on and being stuck in the past. He doesn’t realise that he needs to show me some sort of commitment before I can think about settling down with him, e.g, Seeing DS on a regular basis, taking an active part in his life,
Not complaining about financially supporting him.
Ex said the reason why he doesn’t do this currently is because of my bitchiness, we I’m always not nice to him on the phone, which is true and I take full blame of that. He said he will do all these things (support DS, support me and blah) when we live together.
Should I consider it ?