Dont want to die alone tmi warning

[Crazylady87]

Please i need some honest opinions
Im single mum of 3 in my 30s. Morbidly obese but losing weight. I am balding which i cover with hair building products but u can clearly see it if i dont use them (alopecia). I have dentures after having my teeth knocked out in a car accident at 22. I also have massive scar up my abdomen and its not joined neatly and mu boobs sag and my nipples are like dinner plates from breastfeeding 3 kids.
My point is im not a physical good catch. I know im ok looking when im skinny and i will get there again in time. Im sorry if this all sounds shallow. But seriously i know people fall in love with personality but they have to be physically attracted to you to get to know you first. Who will want this wrinkly saggy balding no teeth single mum?. It has to be someone who doesnt want kids or has there own aswell because i am as barron as a door knob.. dont even have the equipment anymore thanx to a complicated near death birth of my last baby. So what do i have to offer. Know one looks at me twice. How am i supposed to get to know someone if they dont like what they see. Are there guys who fall for women like me? Guys if you met a girl and she had these problems would it be a deal breaker? And if i did get to know someone what happens when the first time they see me naked they laugh or cry at my hideousness? I mean i think i have a sparkling personality lol

Well, you obviously managed to attract someone at some stage - you've got 3 DC ffs! But honestly, you can always find someone worse off. (Me, a stone overweight, eyebags, hair going grey - quite sad about it, but looking round me in town today, lots of women much worse off than me - and with partners). There's someone for everyone! Keep on keeping on with the weight loss, you've got your dentures and you can always have your hair done or use scarves. And you've got that sparkling personality ( which is rare as hen's teeth!).

Hi OP didn't want to read and not comment. Yes people are very superficial especially in this day and age where everyone seems to be pencilled out on social media etc. If I were you, I'd start to look at what you have that your lucky to have, 3 kids, Im sure tough at times as a single mom, but your alive, you've got a great personality. Try getting out and about and try new things hobbies etc if you can. Unfortunately the likes of online dating and bars and clubs tend to be superficial and people will judge on first impressions which is a pity. If there is something you enjoy you could meet a nice man doing that, even volunteer at any community or local events . I hope you find your true love but don't spend all your time wishing you were different, there is only one you so you must make the most of you xxx

Sounds like you need to learn to love yourself a bit first.
You're a single mum of three for starters. Well done you!

OP none of us is perfect (I too have dentures, but not many people know that!). Do you have friends that value you? If so, maybe ask them why, and start from there. I bet they don't see you as you see yourself. Beauty is within; it's a cliche but it's true. I would echo what has been said about the dating scene, I think you're more likely to meet a compatible partner incidentally through a shared interest.

Anyone with an ounce of common sense about them knows that someone's character (whether they are kind, reliable, generous of spirit, positive, hard-working with a good sense of humour) is far more important than their appearance and that applies to blokes as well as women!

You sound like a good egg op; and we all have our flaws. Don't let society's superficiality get you down! Anyone who judges you solely on looks is not really worth going out with surely?

You have three beautiful babies. You are a star, never forget that

@paap1975 has it spot on. Learning to be happier in your own skin makes all the difference. I'm also massively overweight, and was only a little bit smaller when I started my relationship with DH.
I'd had the best summer having fun with friends just before, was relaxed and not looking for anything and it just happened. I was a single mum, and he worked away, so we took time but 14 years later he's still stuck with me!
Honestly, forget men initially. Look at how to make yourself happier, and do it. You would be more likely to start talking to someone who seems happy, it applies to most of us. Good luck

Guys if you met a girl and she had these problems would it be a deal breaker?

As a guy; honestly the way a person looks is completey secondary to that of their character. I have always said that I would date a head on a spring as long as she was a good laugh and didn't cause too much drama. Sure you have to have some measure of physical attraction to someone but that attraction can be so small that just that person having a nice set of hands or something can be enough.

Why is having a guy the be all and end all? In the first instance I would work on being happier in your own right, get out and about as much as possible so that you naturally get more exercise and this should help pick up your mood.

You talk as though you're in an absolutely desperate situation but it sounds to me as though your focus is on your appearance and getting a man when you could be allowing yourself to enjoy your life as it is first. Kids grow up so so fast.

Hi there. Im not desperate to find someone. Sorry it came across that way. I am quite happy being single and i like being my own person. My question is mearly if i will have anchance in the furture. Like seriously i dont want anyone now bit maybe in a few years. Im in no great rush. Just wanted to know if it qould be a possibility in the furture as i think I deserve to be loved

And i am happy within myself. As i said i think im a cool laid back chick i hate drama. I am asking in a physical sense. Im just stating facts here. My physical form is not attractive. Yes i did findsome who was attracted to me obviously but it has been my only serious relationship. When i was young i was permiscuos (sp?) As i craved any attention and i thought sex was a way to get someone to love me. My ex was a highschool friend we reconnected after 10 years. Stayed friends for 2 years and then took it to the next level. We were together for 8 years. I just couldnt be his maid anymore. But thats a whole nother story. Hense why i like not living with someone. I dont think i could settle down and get married but i would like to get laid again lol. Its been years.
Just because im saying im unattractive doesnt mean i dont like myself. I love myself. Im just stating facts. A chair is a chair. Same thing.

I would date a head on a spring this made me laugh!!

yes for facing facts - i'm an ok looking (upgrade to good looking when thinner!) single mum. i'm fat. i have rolls, and curves, and i wobble. i'm not well off, i have a low paid job i adore. i love myself but facts are facts!

i also have a wonderful, wonderful DP. he was a massive surprise! I'd been single (bar the odd bit of fun!) for a decade and he was not only interested but loves me the way i am. Honestly, he isn't blind or anything, he isn't a nutcase or an abuser, or anything bad!

someone out there for everyone. if for a quick shag or marriage