Hi,
I have NC for this post.
Basically, a few months ago my partner of 3 years left me, in quite a traumatic way. I left our house days later, we have no children but I took several animals and left one of our animals with him. In this time he refused to speak to me (even regarding the animals) and we had minimal contact for the following 2 months. If the way he left me is relevant I am happy to go into this more, it was probably the worst way you can leave someone!
In this time I was heartbroken and confused, but I kept my distance from him, rarely contacted him (I will admit I sometimes caved and he would quite often reply) and moved on as best as I could. I kept busy, restarted my passion/hobby and spent time with my family and friends, saying "yes" to every opportunity.
Recently he contacted me and asked to meet up, he apologised for the way he left me and wanted to speak to me in person to see where we both stand. Rightly or wrongly i met up with him. It was like we'd never been apart, we have always got on so well, we had a laugh, a catch up and he told me he wanted to date me again and see how things go. In the time we'd been apart our house was sold and we both moved back in with our parents (apart 30 minutes away) We are in our mid 20's. I am now actively looking for a house to rent on my own and he will be looking into buying on his own near his parents.
I was confused and told him that I was unsure I can get past how he left me. We spoke for hours and he explained himself the best he could and about his intentions.
Now, i am so confused. I still love him, I want to be with him (I never wanted to break up in the first place) but i am unsure i can move on without harbouring resentment and throwing it back in his face. He says he is willing to work through whatever I am going through, but theory and practice are 2 very different things.
Our relationship was always good in my eyes, we get on so well, have a load of fun, have a good sex life etc but we definitely have things to work on - which we have spoken about.
Can this ever work?
Can you ever go from living with someone to dating twice or so a week?
Since our chat he has planned a few things for us, seems keen and I am taking a back seat and reserving judgement for the minute.
My main issue is my family, the way he left me was/is so horrific I am not sure anyone could ever forgive him. I'm not even sure whether I can! But will I always regret not trying? We both got on so well with one another's families and our families got on well together too, this is important for us both. Although the way his mum in particular has treated me after the break up I'm unsure whether I could have/want to have the same close relationship with her again.
Sorry, this is super long! I guess I am just asking what is better - to potentially be heartbroken and to go through this all over again or to live with regrets and 'what ifs'?
Thank you!