DD having sex?

[Anonymousmumforlyfe]

My DD is 15 turning 16 in January and I’m almost 100% sure she’s had sex. I’m not really sure how to feel about it. She’s very mature for her age and very knowledgeable so I trust that she made the right decision and used protection however I’m not sure if I should talk to her about it as I’m not sure i want it going on under my roof. Her boyfriend is lovely caring young man about to turn 16 next month should I mention this to his parents? I’m very confused how to feel about all of this

Realistically you’re not going to stop it happening. They will find a way! Shaming them or trying to stop it will result in them going to dodgy places etc

So I’d be frank and say if you’re having sex are you on the pill? If not let’s make a gp app.

Discuss what’s ok what’s not in terms of consent.

I don’t think there would be any harm in raising it, just on the basis of contraception. I was a very bright teenager, but through sheer naivety ended up with a baby at 16. I wouldn’t change that now obviously, but it clearly had a massive impact on my life. I’m not saying she would be as naive as I was, but other than being an awkward conversation I don’t think it could hurt

And yes I agree with the other poster, they will always find a way, as long as they are respectful, maybe waiting until you are out the house etc I think it’s the best way.

She is very bright but should I allow it to happen at home? She doesn’t know that I know and she wants her bf to stay over not sure if I should allow that

Totally agree with what you say need to discuss consent with her. I’m pretty sure she’s using condoms not sure if I should put her on the pill

I don’t think there is much you can do other than encourage her to be a strong independent woman.

To be fair her boyfriend is an amazing young man who seems to care the world about her and she’s suffered from an eating disorder for the last 2 ish years and I truly believe since she met him she’s so much more happier and more confident and seems to be recovering even quicker than we anticipated. However I can’t help feeling worried that she rushed into things

Why would you not allow it at home?

If you take the emotion out, what is the difference between them having sex in a car, in the open air etc and in your house?
Safety & cleanliness really.
You know it is happening, it will keep happening regardless and if they are under your roof, you can ensure there is a ready supply of condoms in the bathroom cabinet so they don’t run out and are tempted to chance it “just once”.
They are of a like age, both sensible & caring, it doesn’t sound like a bad relationship.

I think I need to sit her down and go through it with her. Tbh I’m quiet proud of the young independent woman she’s becoming and as u put it it would make sense for me to provide a safe environment rather than it happening somewhere else

She needs to be aware that condoms on their own are not enough and think about possibility of a pregnancy .

I would say look at another form of contraception as well as condoms. because men in general are rubbish at putting them on and they split and thats just a can of worms you don’t want

My mum always said she didn't want it happening in her house, I didn't get it at the time, as an adult I so get it! Honestly, if you trust her I'd stay out of it! It was going to happen at some point... she's doing it with a partner who you like so be pleased (as pleased as you can anyways 😂)

It totally depends on your relationship but could you suggest an appointment with the GP regarding the pill? That way you getting straight to it without too much confrontation (embarrassment for her) and subtly letting her you know and you are ok with it

I second talking to her. If not to suggest the pill then just to let her know that you're fine with it and she should feel comfortable coming to you with any problems (e.g. physical discomfort, morning after pill, concerns about consent).

I'm on the fence about allow teenager's boyfriends to stay. I know a bed is better than a park bench but if a park bench is their only option then they are likely to have sex less often imo, reducing the risk of pregnancy and also keeping the relationship in a youthful stage rather than sleeping together like an older couple would.

The way my mum raised it was to say she could see how happy BF and I were and ask if I’d like to consider going to the doctors with her so I’d be prepared and have the right knowledge before things got more serious, or that if I wanted to go alone she’d completely understand.

It was one of the few things she got right.

Probably the best thing you can do is to sit her down and just explain that you understand that she'll probably be intimate with her boyfriend and that you would rather her do it into your roof so you're in a safe environment. Just let her know that you're there for her

I talked to her today and discussed putting her on the pill. I was very nervous wether this was her desion and wether she was pressured or not by society and friend ect but after talking to her I realised what a special relationship she and her bf have. He has made such an impact on her and she is a lot happier and more confident. As I have said he is a lovely young man and although it isn’t the nicest thing to think about your baby having sex, I’m glad she’s being mature and responsible for her decisions and actions thank you all for Helen

*Help