He still lives with his ex?

[FairgroundMum]

I’ll try and keep this short!
So, I started seeing a guy 3 months ago. Turns out we really like each other!

The catch.. he lives with his ex in her house. Cheap rent and he currently has no intentions of moving out.

They sleep in separate bedrooms etc, but he says she’s told him that she is still in love with him and wants them to be back together! She doesn’t know about me, or that he is seeing anyone. Infact he lies to her about where he is when we are together.

He wants to be friends with the ex and wants to try and ‘make her see’ that they can just be friends. He talks about his ex to me all the time, I’m not sure how I feel about this. (Mostly bad, maybe he’s just venting?)

I have no idea what’s going to happen between us, so would never ask him to move out. But I also can’t see this going much further whilst he’s still living with his ex.

Should I just run? Stick it out? Take a step back? I have no idea what to do with this!! Help! They have been split for 8ish months btw.

Why don't you meet her, with him, so you an hear about their relationship direct from her?

Excellent decision, OP - now all you have to decide is how to dump him.

I know it can be tempting to send an angry message, but there's something really weirdly satisfying about just ghosting.

Or...i remember ages ago on MN reading a story from a woman who found out her fiancé had been having an affair with her best friend. Rather than telling him he was busted and the wedding was off in a whole mess of drama , she just told him she'd just gone off him and he was a bit meh. I always thought that was super classy

Rather than telling him he was busted and the wedding was off in a whole mess of drama , she just told him she'd just gone off him and he was a bit meh

oooh I do like that style!

(Wonder if his new relationship lasted in the wake of his 'youre not all that mate' injured pride😂)

That's a good plan for you OP

Yeah he's still with her, walk away. Sorry, good luck x

Rather than telling him he was busted and the wedding was off in a whole mess of drama , she just told him she'd just gone off him and he was a bit meh

That is rather genius! I don’t think I’ll do the whole angry text thing... it’s been 3 months! I can’t imagine any girl sticking around for long if he carries on in the same situation.

I’m more annoyed at myself for being so stupid! 😂 doh!

Run away with your head held high!

Don't let yourself sink so low as to become a 'secret' in future. You deserve much more!

Any man that mentions that word? Run!

Run away. Now. Fast.

People in desperate financial situations manage to leave the home shared with an ex.

I live with my ex in a co-parenting arrangement, and I, too, am suggesting you run!

Our relationship only works because we're honest with each other and prospective partners about our situation - there are no lies/omissions - and we also don't have romantic feelings towards each other; just a deep affection that's more sibling-like than anything else.

Your OH's circumstances are based on lies, and that's no foundation on which to build any kind of relationship with him.

At best, he’s using her and playing on her feelings for cheap rent.

Not a nice person.

Call round to his to tell him it's over.

I think it's extremely cruel of him to continue to live with and lie to a woman who is still in love with him, just to get cheap rent

This! Even on the very small chance he is telling the truth to you, would you really want to be with a man who would treat another woman this way? Either he is still with her and you're the OW or he's telling you the truth and he's a scumbag! No way does he come out of this looking good. You can do better.