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Relationships

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taking the plunge..dating agency

16 replies

claresheep · 13/08/2018 19:15

hi-wondering if anyone knows anything about RSVP dating agency? I'm fed up with OLD and they seem to offer a tailored service- but its £1000 up front-a lot of money to gamble with! also there's no reviews whatsoever-anywhere-which makes me a bit suspicious!

OP posts:
twilightsaga · 13/08/2018 19:43

A grand? Jesus!! I'm sorry but that's a bit much imo but it's up to you. Be prepared that it may work or it may be a total waste of money

claresheep · 13/08/2018 19:51

agree its a lot-and that's only the middle tier! I would go into it with my eyes open, knowing there's no guarantees, but its the complete lack of reviews anywhere that makes me worry

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 13/08/2018 20:27

I’d be intrigued if anyone has ever had good results from a dating agency?

LuluBellaBlue · 13/08/2018 20:27

I’ve often wondered if they do work or are scams!

LittleKitty1985 · 15/08/2018 13:28

@claresheep Have you tried speed dating? I met my DH that way after years of OLD. It's a good alternative as you meet them in person so you know whether or not there's an attraction and chemistry. You can also choose an age range and a type of event based on what is important to you, for example the one we met at was specifically for 30-something vegetarians. It's usually only about £20 so well worth a couple of goes before investing £1000 in something with no reviews!

ShatnersWig · 15/08/2018 14:04

Dating agencies are enormously expensive. That's actually quite low compared to some I have heard of.

Someone posted on a previous thread about online dating and agencies about RSVP as follows:

"Avoid RSVP - they are misleading and dishonest. I asked them if there were plenty of guys my age before joining. They lied & said that there were. After paying over the almost �1000 joining fee, I discovered that there were very few guys my age & none that matchedd my criteria - reasonable job. Now they refuse to give me back my money. Their contract states that they cannot guarantee introductions. I was very clear when I asked of there were guys my age who had reasonable jobs when before I joined up, they lied & said yes, I would not have joppoined had they been honest with me. Please all, do not join RSVP!"

Interestingly, someone refuted that and said it was wonderful. But that person had resurrected that thread months and months after the posting I quoted above and the poster had never posted before or since, so I think we can draw a conclusion from that!

Motherhood101Fail · 15/08/2018 21:06

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Scott72 · 15/08/2018 21:18

Sounds like a scam. The sort of bloke you're looking for is probably in relatively short supply. Are they going to carefully select for these men or do they just let any man willing to front a thousand pounds in? And even if they were selective in which men they listed, you'd be in competition with many other women for them.

Changedname3456 · 15/08/2018 22:19

There was a court case reported in the press today about a woman getting her (13k I think!) money back from one of these “exclusive” agencies.

They had a 100 or so men on the books and the owner reckoned that was pretty good for the type of agency they purport to be.

I’d not waste your money on it.

HollowTalk · 15/08/2018 22:22

I'm not sure why a guy would have to go to an agency - they're like kids in a sweetshop on online dating.

GlacierMints · 15/08/2018 22:36

This is a report of that court case PP refers to:

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/aug/15/not-enough-fish-woman-successfully-sues-dating-agency-seventy-thirty

Scott72 · 15/08/2018 22:49

HollowTalk online dating generally sucks for both men and women, but for different reasons. The average man has to struggle to get any sort of replies or follow ups at all. For women its often a case of too much attention and having to sift though them. But I don't think these high priced agencies are a solution.

GlacierMints · 15/08/2018 23:08

Here is the full decision of the Judge in that case which I managed to find. It is actually quite shocking stuff - they only had about 200 active members.

The description of the evidence of the woman bringing the claim and two other women (at para 83) who had used the agency is really interesting. The whole thing is pretty long but skip reading it was fascinating.

www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/QB/2018/2151.html

I'd steer clear of these kind of agencies having skimread this.

NotTheFordType · 15/08/2018 23:11

If you're looking for men who share interests or are at a certain level of professionalism, I'd look instead at dating programs which are branded with certain interests in mind.

Times Encounters
Guardian Soulmates
Muddy Matches
Planet Rock dating
Classic FM dating
...those are the ones that spring immediately to mind.

FlappyFeet · 15/08/2018 23:12

Have you tried Bumble and Match? My friends have all found long term partners on those.

GlacierMints · 15/08/2018 23:16

This is from the court judgment about the evidence of a man who worked at the agency:

He became a matchmaking specialist for 70/30 on 8 December 2014. He seems to have become Ms Burki's matchmaker after Susan Eades left in February 2015. It is plain that he did not enjoy working for 70/30. He complained that when he arrived there was no training, and the place was 'on fire', as he put it, and a 'toxic environment'. Matches were delivered whether they were suitable or not, and his fellow matchmakers were very stressed and afraid to speak about the agency's problems, which he said were essentially the product of a shortage of members. They were told not to talk to each other about the problems with the agency. They even feared that listening devices would record their conversations. There was a very high staff turnover (he thought 100% over two years, although he was only with 70/30 for 5 months himself). His evidence was that he did not like 70/30 because it took people's money and then forgot about them, when they had nowhere else to turn. That was why he had taken contact details with him and given them to Ms Burki. It had been the worst experience of his working life.

....

On Mr Colville's evidence, he was responsible for reviewing the profiles of 20-26 paying members, 90% of whom were female. There were, he said, about five others who did the same job. He had access to the 'front end' of the database, and he could see the profiles of those listed. He could search the database by reference to search terms, which were limited: he could not, for instance, search on whether a person had several houses or wanted children. Shown a screenshot of the database, he accepted that in fact there was a box for 'Interested in having children – Yes/No/Unsure', which could be used, but he said that the pool was so limited that he did not have the leisure, as he put it, to do so.

...

The expectations of his female clients were for a pool of like-minded men who had signed up for membership on the same terms as they had, and he said (speaking in general terms) that they were very disheartened with the quality of the men whom he produced. His experience was that the database did not have a substantial number of eligible men. He did not know how many men there were on the database, but his evidence was that there were about sixty paid up members of both sexes when he was there. That was his 'guesstimate', based on working with and talking to five other members of staff. Most of the sixty were women: he knew of only five paid up men members. At a stretch, he said, there were no more than eight. The staff members were all in the dark, he said, about how many paid up members there were.

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