I miss my best friend

[Yestoeyes]

So I fell out with my best friend almost a year ago. We were so close. Talked every day. Told each other everything.

She found out her husband had cheated on her but one of the girls was supposedly underaged (15) and the husband was talking to her as a 17 year old (he's 30). Anyway they split up for a week but got back together. I tried to still talk to her and be supportive but ultimately I couldn't condone the normalisation of his behaviour so cut her off explaining my reasons. I encouraged her to go to the police but as she was back head over heels in love there was no chance of that. I considered going myself but as I have no evidence (she destroyed his phone in an argument) and have issues about this due to my own past experience of sexual abuse from when I was a child.

It's almost a year since all this happened and some days I still feel so lost without her. I don't really have a support network and I'm going through a bad patch in my marriage and have nobody to turn to. Im socially awkward and find making friends difficult, especially as I get older (I'm 30 now!)

Any advice for making friends? Am I right to stand by my decision to cut her off or should I grovel back? Basically any advice how to effectively be an adult would help at this point!

You can talk to us, sorry you’re going through a difficult time

You did the right thing. She’s standing by someone who’s behaved in a horrible way and you don’t need to be around that especially given what’s happened to you in the past.

I’m sure she misses you too but she’s made her bed.

Oh that sounds really rubbish OP.

I would say you were right to do what you did and good on your for standing your ground. Don't ask her back into your life because you are lonely.

I tend to make friends now I am in my 30s through shared interest groups. They range from sports to board games to crafts! Sometimes I simply want to try something new so I can go along to a class and focus on a skill, rather than the people, which makes me feel less anxious and worried about meeting people. The end result usually is that I meet some potential new friends.

She would have been reeling herself from everything. You have your own issues. So does she.

30 is not old to make friends.

Did you cut her off totally because she wouldn't go to the police or what? Was he grooming or sexually active with U16? Either way, if he was grooming -or sexually active you could have reported him.

I suggest some counselling for yourself and a decision to reach out once you have thought it through thoroughly. She may not want contact. She might not be with him or she might be.

For friends -have something in common. Knitting clubs, crafting etc Young WI places are great. Smile and if anyone likes chatting ask to meet up for a coffee. This is interesting www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a13105490/making-new-friends-as-an-adult/

Exactly what AnnelovesGilbert said, (great name!)

IMO this is what MN excels at, offering broadly good advice when there's not much help IRL.

Everyone goes through rough patches but you'd feel worse for going against your principles & it would undoubtedly cause you pain down the line.

Most marriage troubles have been covered on here & Ive always felt better for discussing hints on here.

As for friends, if you read, a book club is a good option, or something creative. If there's a community choir nearby, that's a great mood lifter! I don't have a great voice but mine were very welcoming! Hope you get past this soon