I'm really hurting

[slimshadyscousin]

I'm going to try and keep this brief and I will exclude details so I can stay anonymous.

Met my brothers new gf on Saturday night at a family event. They have been together a matter of months and it has been intense. She was repeating all of the things he told her about me which were all incredibly hurtful and make it sound like he has been harbouring resentments about me. (For example I am materialistic and I only married my husband because he married his ex)

Of course I got very upset and spent the last couple of the hours of the event with my extended family who comforted me. I then got my lift back with my brother and his girlfriend and they were holding hands in the front of the car like neither of them had done anything wrong.

I have blocked his gf on Facebook as I don't want her to have any detail about my life, I feel like she is completely toxic and has set out to try and take me down. I am also angry at him of course but what upsets me the most is that he has allowed her to get away with this. I know if my husband repeated things I had said to him in confidence to the persons face I would go ballistic at him!!

Anyway I partly needed to offload and I also don't know how to handle things from here. There is another family event this weekend that they are both attending. I want to resolve things but I also don't feel like it's for me to reach out as I've done nothing wrong. He doesn't do confrontation.

She is evidently a dim wit to not realise that what she repeated back to you wasn't for repeating. Can't fathom why she would want to hurt you having never met you before, Even if she is a generally nasty person. Very odd. Maybe your brother told her other stuff that made her feel so hostile? Did she say "dbro says you're materialistic", just like that?

In any case your brother is the issue! He's the one who said those things, she's just the (idiot) messenger.

dirtybadger I think because I am generally quite successful and always have been out of me and my brother. I place value on the things that I have - my own home, the car I drive etc. That being said I don't judge people who don't have those things but I think she might be quite hostile out of jealousy and just want to hurt me. I don't even think she's dim - I think she knew exactly what she was doing when she repeated what he had said. I appreciate my brother is ultimately the problem here, I just don't know how to go about resolving this without totally losing my shit at him which is what I feel like doing right now...

Was she very drunk? It’s not an excuse but it sounds like her mouth ran away with her. As badger says, it’s a very odd show from somebody who has never met you and thus isn’t really even explained by your supposition that she’s jealous: jealousy requires an emotional connection to the focus of your jealousy.

Also agree your brother is the issue. You have two options, really: go, ignore him and, if anyone questions it, just say that he said some very hurtful and untrue things about you to others and you don’t feel ready to forgive him yet; or contact him, tell him that he had no business saying those things and you’d like an explanation.