Should I text him (old)?

[FatherDamoLennon]

Hi everyone,

It's the perennial question.

I met a man on OLD, went for brunch yday, we got on really well and he asked me to meet again but I haven't heard anything and it's the next day now.

Should I message him or wait for him to come to me?

We are both early 30s, messaging regularly but not constantly before the date and seemed to have a lot in common plus I fancied him! I think he liked me too.

Should I hold back?

Thanks wise mumsnetters!

I think you should message him if you want to. You shouldn't start a relationship not being true to yourself. If he's out off by one text then he's probably not that keen after all.

Yeah why not if you got one?
Don't double text though

*If you got on

Thanks both, I will do a bit later. Just can't help thinking that if he liked me he Would have been in touch!

Yeah - just wait until this afternoon and say you have a lovely time yesterday with him and hope to do it again soon.

Let the man do the chasing, don't text.

"Just can't help thinking that if he liked me he'd have been in touch". He might be sat thinking exactly the same thing.

I would wait to see if he texts you.

When I first was with DP I used to agonise slightly about how much contact was just enough , too much and it's overkill , not enough shows your not interested , phew it's a nightmare ! And now we are several years down the line we have laughed about it because he felt exactly the same dilemma in those early days too
Seriously at least you are considering this , I would say a nice text stating you had a great time thank you and how is his day going today would be about right sometime during today
Hope it goes well

Let the man do the chasing, don't text

Why? It's 2018 for fuck's sake.

At least if you text, you'll know for sure and it's better that way. Mine backfired...sent my first ever " great meeting,let me know" type text..only to get one back saying " sorry.....no spark" Hopefully yours will be better!

Oh no!! Hope the next one works out better for you CaveDivingBelle! Still in 2 minds but will prob send something after work.

Don’t chase. If he’s interested, he’ll make the effort to make contact.

You will always get posters who trot out the ‘it’s 2018 just text him’ bollocks, but really, men don’t want to be chased, they do however enjoy chasing...

@HotNatured I'm a man. I'm not interested in chasing.

Decent guys are inundated with interest. Take the initiative. Don’t be meek!

Yep don’t chase.

I would send a message but not one that necessitates a response, for example, lovely meeting you, hope that your day doing X was fun! (Or some other statement). That way, if he's interested, you've made the first move and he knows the door is open for further communication and if he's not interested you haven't really put yourself 'out there'.

It may not matter to you but when I was OLD it was very important for my self esteem to not feel like I was pushing myself forward to men who may not be interested and so I always made sure they made the first move. Good luck!!

Decent guys are inundated with interest. Take the initiative. Don’t be meek!

This. Plus what Shatner said about it being 2018. Go for what you want, what's the worst that can happen?

LMM you're absolutely right. I have a pretty thick skin by now but it's still not the nicest feeling to be told 'thanks but no thanks' when you've put yourself out there!

Still nothing all night so he's likely not that bothered but I Iiked your advice about showing the door is open without demanding a response so i sent a non- leading, slighty jokey message about his plans. If he doesnt get back to me, thats up to him. I dont have a burning feeling that he is 'the one' or anything, I just quite liked him and to be honest, haven't even really felt that very often while OLD!

Thanks all.