Anyone have a family member with personality disorder?

[sureitsgrand]

Just that. It's too long to go into details. But someone with PD is waging a hate campaign against my parents. They are a family member but not by blood. They have always been very close to my parents. But after a recent breakdown and a difficult time they have decided my parents are awful people. It's scary. They have said they will destroy my parents lives and 'expose the truth' about them. They have accused them of stealing money which didn't happen. My parents are terrified. They have tried staying quiet and ignoring the person hoping they will calm down. But the person is now saying they won't be ignored etc.

We are all scared as they have a history of violence and when they are ill they become very self righteous. They have spent time in prison for assaulting people they believe have wronged them in the past. I just never thought they would turn on my parents. I can see in hindsight it's been coming for a while. They are taking old conversations out of context and it's a just hateful. But they are also ill. I just hope nothing bad happens to my parents or my little family? Is there a chance it will blow over?

@peakyboo do you think ignoring will be effective? I hope they don't follow up. My parents go on holiday for a fortnight at the end of the week.

I'm hoping they may cool down and desist while they are away.

Honestly? Ignoring is also fodder for them, but it does help you. If you engage with them, they attack and play the victim (usually at the same time). If you ignore, they fill the void by spreading more maliciousness and then jabbing at you for more attention.

This isn't a normal situation with someone who has issues, this sounds like something that could descend into violence and/or real mayhem. It does need reporting.

My strongest advice would be not to underestimate how much damage this person is capable of. Remember, as far as they are concerned, they're the victim and you need to be attacked so they can protect themselves.

Hi mrschuck she said she has a pd. She had a long period of time where she barely turned up to work and then has been fine. But its a very part time job.

@peaekyboo you've pretty much summed up my feelings on it. I think ignoring is the easier root but they will take umbridge with being ignored.

They have been dangerous in the past. They have spent periods in prison because of this. We as a family have supported them through all this and much more. But am aware of their capabilities now it's turned on us. As I asked before I wonder if given a bit of space they could 'switch' back to us not being the enemy?

It's not "personality disorder". People don't get a diagnosis of "they have personality disorder". They have A personality disorder, or which there are many! What is the official diagnoses?

I think, as someone diagnosed with a PD years ago and who has now recovered, all PDs are different, and even within one PD the presentation can differ considerably.

Either way, unacceptable behaviour remains that, regardless of the diagnosis. Just because an illness explains a behaviour doesn't mean that it makes it right. You can't medicate a PD, only co-morbid conditions if present. It takes a good 18 months of talking therapy to be put on the right track, and the patient has to be fully engaged in the process, because they're the ones that have to do the work needed to get well.

If they're harassing, bullying, slandering, etc, this is a police matter. Any interaction will be fuel to the person in question. There is literally no way to approach someone who has reached this point and get them to see reason. They may not even be able to tell anyone what the trigger was when they're eventually out the other side - if they ever are.

Apologies if I'm not using the right terminology @hornflyr I'm not 100% sure which disorder it is. I'm just going on what they have told me and they never went into depth regarding diagnosis. I'm also trying to be vague about gender/relationship and specific details out of respect for the person in case it is outing etc.

I can see my spelling etc isn't great I'm typing with one hand holding a baby and also- I'm heartbroken over this so I'm literally just looking for reassurance from people who may have experienced similar. I'm really not trying to offend anyone. I really appreciate the answers as we don't really have anyone to discuss it with. And I feel discussions in the family are going round in circles as we are all emotionally involved and very hurt.