Name changed for this.
Feel really embarassed about my sex life but feel really desparate and confused need some advice.
Married to DH for a long time. He has never been able to get hard and needed help from me. I don't know how to explain but I've always been the active one and he's the passive one. But he always wants it more than me. He'll touch me and grope me nearly every night and he knows I'm not interested if it means I have to do all the work. I want HIM to take charge and make love to me ifyswim. We don't sleep in the same room anymore but still dtd once a week.
We have very young dc and I feel tired and I think I'm depressed. I'm resentful towards dh because he's not supportive in anything I want to do. Even simple things like going out with a friend to get some respite (i have dc with disability) or hiring a cleaner to help around the house (we can afford).
I just don't want to have sex with him anymore. I let him touch me because im sick of saying no but don't feel anything and so dont react, he doesnt get hard because of my lack of intetest and so doesn't bother going further.
He's trying to be more supportive in other areas and thats very nice and everything but I still don't feel anything. I suggested he go see a doctor about his erectile dysfunction but he thinks that I'm the problem, my lack of participation is the problem.
AIBU that I want to feel like a woman? If that makes sense. I want to feel wanted and desired by my dh. I fantasise about a man just holding me and making love in the traditional way. I've never had this with anyone. DH is my first. A part of me thinks the fantasy that I have is just that. All relationships have problems. But I just want a normal sexual relationship. What can I do. I cant see a way out of this