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Original poster

Could an expensive gift ever be innocent?

17 replies

dragond11 · 12/08/2018 20:47

Asking for a friend, she saw her DH’s credit card bill and it has an almost £1,000 transaction from a woman’s designer shop on it. She said the transaction was from about a month ago. Her birthday is in January, anniversary March so she is not expecting presents any time soon and he apparently is not normally one for big presents and has never spent that much on her. He has no sisters/friend/Mum that he could have bought for so she is convinced he must have bought something for an OW. Said she didn’t suspect until this but he’s been staying away with work more than normal.

I don’t know what to suggest, have been trying to think of innocent explanation but struggling.

OP posts:

Mamaryllis · 12/08/2018 20:49

Fraud that he hasn’t noticed? Most people don’t check their bills at all.

ApolloandDaphne · 12/08/2018 20:58

I would suggest she asks him what he bought from that shop. Only way she will know.

Musti · 12/08/2018 21:00

Bloody hell that's a lot of money. Doesn't sound good

LizzieSiddal · 12/08/2018 21:05

I agree with others.

It may be fraud
Just ask him.

LeroyJenkins · 12/08/2018 21:17

depends - how much does he normally spend on her? could he have bought something else?

why hasnt she asked him?

SunflowerJo08 · 12/08/2018 21:27

I'd make a huge thing about it being fraud, and see what his reaction is.

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 12/08/2018 21:32

It could be fraud!

I would search my house! Ask him about it, without mentioning fraud...watch his reaction! If he starts saying 'oh erm, so My friend wanted to surprise his wife' I would say he is cheating!
If he looks at it and looks confused and calls the bank, It is fraud!

Original poster

dragond11 · 12/08/2018 21:37

I have told her she needs to just ask him.

She says that he has never bought expensive gifts as although he is quite a high earner they have a lot of outgoings so not a lot of spare cash.

Fraud is a good idea but I think because it's a credit card and he's had to pay it by now he would have told her if he thought it was wrong

OP posts:

junebirthdaygirl · 13/08/2018 00:50

Would she always see his credit card bill or be likely to glance over it. Surely he would not have been so blatant as to have that on his bill and would have paid cash if wanted to cover up.

LadyLapsang · 13/08/2018 07:37

She needs to talk to him, but it could be fraud. A temp at my husband's previous office bought clothes, had highlights etc. On people's cards. Caught red handed taking a card from a guy's wallet.

RachelAnneJ · 13/08/2018 07:42

Combined withbstating away more than normal I would be a little suspicious.

I would probably have a dig around to see if I could find anything else odd before confronting.

OrdinarySnowflake · 13/08/2018 08:04

It could be fraud.

It could be he's bought something from the menswear department but it's registered as going through womenswear due to who served him (A grand is about right for a nice suit)

It could be he's prepaid for something for her for Christmas.

It could be he's bought something for someone else who's paid him back.

It could be a gift for an OW.

She needs to ask, but not assume there's not an innocent explanation.

FatherDamoLennon · 13/08/2018 10:36

Would it be possible to contact the shop first and find out what was bought from their records?

Different reason, it was because an item was faulty and I'd lost the receipt, but I was able to do this recently with a shop using card details and date of transaction.

Then at least she knows what exactly was purchased, before speaking to him. Could be fraud, could be a Christmas present bought ahead of time but I wouldn't assume that.

mogratpineapple · 13/08/2018 12:32

A big deduction like this appeared on our bank statement alongside a payment for two one way tickets to Canada. The bank contacted us and we got the money back but they asked us to check our older statements and we found a fair amount of withdrawals.

It was all fraud and the police got those involved. All I'm saying is that it could be fraud but show it to DH and tell him that you need to contact the bank to get it sorted.

Original poster

dragond11 · 13/08/2018 19:40

junebirthdaygirl - no apparently she would not normally see it which is why she thinks he may have been casual enough to use it

OP posts:

loveisland · 13/08/2018 20:30

She will have to just ask, not only for her sanity but to make sure it's not fraud!

SandyY2K · 13/08/2018 23:39

Those saying just ask...you know he'll have an excuse if it was a gift for an OW.

Apart from fraud being a plausible explanation...the only thing I can come up with, is him buying it for someone who would pay back...but that would have to be someone very close to him. It more than a long shot.

I'd start digging for more if I was her. Asking just tips him off.

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