Partner watching porn

[HBXO]

Hi all, I'm looking to see if I am over reacting?!
I have just caught my partner watching porn via his browsing history yet he denied it. He knows I don't like it after me previously catching him twice before and he promised he would stop.
His excuse is that he has a high sex drive, we do have sex but only around once a week. Is it my fault because I'm too tired? (I have a newborn baby this is why I'm tired lol)
Any help would be appreciated!

" when you were all getting off reading 50 shades of gray"

This is often trotted out by men to justify their love of porn. I've never known a woman who found Shades of Gray sexy. It's the same 'but what about the Chippendales!' argument you hear when men's love of strip clubs comes up.

I feel for the guy. You are treating him like a child.

If it's a deal breaker for you , save yourself the heartache and end it now. He won't change he will lie to you more and hide it better.

If his use is impacting on your sex life and relationship together save yourself the heartache and end it now. He won't change he will lie to you more and hide it better.

If you really want the relationship to continue, you need to find a way to live with it.

This is often trotted out by men to justify their love of porn. I've never known a woman who found Shades of Gray sexy. It's the same 'but what about the Chippendales!' argument you hear when men's love of strip clubs comes up.

You might not find it sexy, but clearly someone does because they exist. If you don't find them sexy the argument isnt going to make sense. Doesnt make the argument wrong (or right) But you might not be the best person to judge its validity

Personally I don't agree with it. OP has said she doesn't like it and that her DP promised to stop so it is an issue.

I also don't understand this "Oh he has a high sex drive so it's ok" logic. It comes across like men are sex crazed freaks who can't control themselves and MUST hump something the second they feel like it.

My best friend and her DP broke up due to porn issues. He watched more and more and eventually every day sex didn't do it for him, it had to be big fake DD, sex toy/multiple partner stuff. It also really impacted upon my friend's self esteem and made her feel like she wasn't enough.

I know this isn't the case with everyone, but OP is bothered by it, and she doesn't have to just accept it.

Helmlover you kind of have a point, but then again I'm not sure how many husbands would react if the shoe were on the other foot, as the saying goes, and they found out their wives were regularly masturbating to pictures of hot naked guys.

And Heffalump your best friend's DP was an extreme example.

"It comes across like men are sex crazed freaks who can't control themselves"

The male sex drive is, on average much higher than the average female drive and is much more visually based. I'm not trying to excuse men who commit actual sex crimes, but I'm trying to get you to sympathize with why men like masturbating to (licit) pornography.

Men watch porn.
Get over it.

Just look at a site like porn hub- the first videos you will see have titles like

Fucking my filthy step daughter hard

Small teen destroyed by massive cock

Fucking my stepmum

How the hell is this okay and normal, what are all the young men who watch this learning about women. It's degrading and disgraceful.
My DP does not watch porn, he has morals.

Men watch porn and if you tell him to stop it's not something he can quit over night, it will take time. Maybe ask him to watch it outside the house so it's not in your way,, you're going to have to compromise as the relationship is not just about your needs but both of your needs. Sex 4 times a month might not be enough for him hence why he might be going to other avenues instead of pestering you for sex.

Not all men watch porn by the way, and they don't run off and shag the neighbour instead.

I borrowed my DDs ipad once when I was babysitting and either she or her DH had been watching a site called something hamster...... I was so shocked at the titles, like the PP said..... and what really disturbed me were the amount of videos taken of shop assistants; women walking down the street; women sunbathing etc who obviously had no idea they were being filmed and are now on a porn site. How the hell can this be legal . It made me feel sick tbh.

My DP does not watch porn, he has morals.

Or hes smart enough with enough IT savy not to get caught.

I hate this kind of self righteousness. Given the number for men on porn sites either most of the female population are "cool wives" or a fair number are in the dark. I only found evidence of ExH porn use years after the divorce.

Some men genuinely view it as being seedy and immoral. Is that outside of the realms of possibility? We set the bar too low for men.

Whether we think it's ok or not, OP isn't happy about it.

Asking if it's "your fault" is implying he has done something wrong. I'll probably get flamed for this but if you have mismatched sex drives at the moment and you are too tired to dtd more than once a week then he is probably gonna get frustrated and need to masturbate. A bit of porn really isn't the end of the world.
I am on medication at the moment that has completely removed my sex drive, I've been turning him down for nearly 3 weeks and I really wouldn't be upset if he watched a bit of porn and sorted himself out

No I'm not happy about it as I stated in the first post, I get some women don't mind there other half doing it but I feel let down because of the lie.
Our sex life has gone down hill and we are slowly drifting from each. This could just be the last straw and possibly separate.
DP is trying to avoid sitting down and talking about it all this is why I needed to vent on here.

I hate this kind of self righteousness. Given the number for men on porn sites either most of the female population are "cool wives" or a fair number are in the dark. I only found evidence of ExH porn use years after the divorce.

This really pushes me off. He doesn't, I know he doesn't, he dislikes it more than I do- in the same way that someone doesn't eat meat for moral reasons, why is it so hard to believe that a grown man might object to "watch me fuck my stepsister and cum on her face while my stepmum watches"

I seriously think some women have been brainwashed into accepting this shit, are you happy for the boys who watch this to have sex with your daughters?

Pisses

Some men genuinely view it as being seedy and immoral. Is that outside of the realms of possibility? We set the bar too low for men.

No it's absolutely not. However its bloody arrogant to be absolutely certain that your man falls into that category when statically youre probably 50/50 At best and it's completely unsupportive to the OP who likely felt exactly the same way before she first found evidence of porn use.

I set the bar higher for women.

"Bigbouncybeautymilf"

That is wrong just to even say, why would you say something like that? Reported.

Fuck off knob