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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

‘Friend’

5 replies

Mumao · 12/08/2018 17:59

I have this friend, Dave. We dated a good few years ago but it never went anywhere. Every now and the he would stay at mine after a night out. Nothing would really happen just a kiss and cuddle.

Anyway, i then started seeing my babies dad who is a friend of Dave. In the very early stages of ‘seeing’ babies dad, Dave stayed over at mine. Nothing happened apart from a kiss which I stopped as felt disloyal. I will say that I had literally been speaking to babies dad for a week at this point so I don’t even feel that I was seeing him.

Fast forward to now. I’m no longer with babies dad and every time I go out with friends I end up spending most of my time with Dave. I like him. On Friday, after a few drinks I told him and he said he was annoyed that I was ‘seeing’ babies dad when he stayed over. I get it, it’s awkward being friends.

Now he’s saying he doesn’t want to talk about us but I’m getting serious mixed messages. I’m not sure why he won’t give it a go and is now using this as a ‘reason’.

I really want to not care but it seems so unfinished and I see Dave a lot (mutual friends).

Any advice? I’m thinking of msging him saying that we need to stop and need to distance ourselves.

I feel like such an idiot.

OP posts:
supersop60 · 12/08/2018 19:14

He's not that interested, sorry. Move on with your life.

notthisagain83 · 12/08/2018 19:17

If he says he is not interested then he's not.. move on and find someone that is

dirtybadger · 12/08/2018 19:20

You need to stop what?

It sounds like he has already told you he wants distance and isn't interested, So I don't think you need to message him. I'm a bit confused about timescale, how long ago were you with your baby's father? Was this a few years ago (and baby is more of a toddler) or is the baby really a small baby?

Mumao · 12/08/2018 19:24

Yes I know... I will but I feel like an idiot. And wonder if I should message him or just distance myself without having the convo.

OP posts:
Mumao · 12/08/2018 19:28

Sorry yeah toddler. I’m just so confused by him. He confused me like this for years before I met dd dad.

Time for me to distance myself again!

OP posts:
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