I'm wondering at what point we stop putting our negative feelings towards each other down to having young children. When do these feelings cross the line into "marriage troubles" and not just "post-baby wobbles."
DC2 is 3 months old. Had some relationship problems after DC1 which were mostly ironed out by the time we began trying for DC2. During pregnancy with DC2, wobbles began for me again as I was v ill and I got the feeling that DH was resentful for having to do more at home. Since DC2's birth, I've felt completely irritated by and unattracted to DH.
Some thoughts and feelings I'm having are:
He has no empathy whatsoever- told to stop crying when struggling with breastfeeding
-seems to think he's entitled to carry on with his life/hobbies as normal, whilst I'm at home.
- His eating habits are dreadful and its rubbing off on DC1
-Always on his phone slouching in the chair
-Has told me he does "much more" than me at home... he does because he's not the one cluster feeding each evening!
- Had sex for the first time last week and I hated it... there was a lack of feeling and he just kept on talking which was a massive turn off! He actually discusses what position to get into next etc rather than going with the flow.
-hes piling on weight and doesn'tseem bothered by it, his clothes are faded and old, his hair needs cutting.
-I suspect he has ASD or/and ADHD and I've started realising thatjust because i married and had children with him, it doesn't mean I have to be sentenced to a lifetime of emotional neglect with him.
-He ignored me throughout the world cup. I was sat on the sofa feeding DC2 with cracked nipples, a baby witg tongue tie and weight loss trying to feed, me crying and he was just glued to the TV screen.
- He's loud, thoughtless, insensitive, wakes me and the baby turning over in bed because he's so loud when he does it (I'm cosleeping). I feel I'm always pulling him up on things and I'm beginning to think he deserves to be able to live as he wants to without someone constantly pulling him up.
-He's stubborn with it. If I ask him to be quiet because baby is sleeping he argues with me.
-He says he's depressed so I've gotten leaflets and contact numbers for him to help but hasnt sort out any help whatsoever. Just tells me "it will sort itself out." It won't. He also has stomach problems which have been going on for months and he still hasn't seen a doctor which is v stressful.
I realise some of my thoughts/feelings here are quite offensive and upsetting, but I need to express what's going on in my head.
Ive told DH that I'm not sure staying together long term is the right thing to do but he says I'm feeling this way because we've just had a baby.
Im not so sure...