Life falling apart and what to do

[Madelli]

I have had huge mental health problems over the last year and also lost my mum four months ago who I was extremely close to. My husband left the country to go to work 48 hours after mum passed away. He never talks to me unless he is talking about his work. We have children and he occasionally talks about them with me. He has never asked me how I am feeling after the death of my mum and I’m devastated.
I haven’t drank alcohol in a long time but got drunk recently and my husband took advantage of the fact and did something sexually to me that I have always refused to do previously. He has since apologised for it by text and said that it will never happen again. Since then I have started cutting myself and I can’t stop thinking about suicide. My life is a total mess.

Poor you

Sounds like you need some counselling, maybe you may then have the strength to leave him, he sounds horrid.

Do you have family and friends around?

Im sorry that you are going through such a bad time. Please confide in someone - do you have any good friends? I know that it can be hard to talk to people you know, for all sorts of reasons, but how about the samaritans?

Your husband was very very wrong. Is leaving him an option?

Your mum loved you, your children love you. You are valued and wanted, so please take care of yourself.

I'm sorry you lost your mum, and I'm sorry your H assaulted you.

Are you in the UK?

This all sounds really hard and upsetting. I am so sorry to hear you feel suicidal. Have you spoken to anyone about your feelings and your self-harm? Have you spoken to your GP, or thought about calling the Samaritans? Mumsnetters will listen to you but please do talk to someone in real life about feeling suicidal, and maybe you might find something helpful here hubofhope.co.uk.