How do you deal with a woman who is outrageously flirting with your fiancé?

[Mudpet]

My partner is very good looking and gets a lot of attention but luckily I know he loves me and our 6 month old. The man he is working for has an apparently beautiful girlfriend (I haven’t met, yet) that is getting more and more brazen with him. She pole-danced on the scaffolding next to where he was working for crying out loud. I don’t know how to tell her to back off without looking like an idiot. He’s not interested, but the fact she knows about me and the baby and continues to chase him is so disrespectful I just want her to know that I’m not some vague presence to be ignored. She loved telling my fiancé that her current partner’s ex-wife was ‘placid’.

I think my poor description of pole dancing, the HR dynamics of a complicated company set up, and the fact he’s an audience is totally irrelevant here. She’s being predatory and the best advice so far has been to laugh it off and take away any power she thinks she has.

He is an audience if he is paying attention.

If he ignored her completely, then there would be no audience.

Not sure if I would describe her as predatory. More attention seeking.

My partner has no intention of going anywhere near her by the way

In which case, you don’t need to do anything. Let her continue making a show of herself.

DP used to work on the doors and would get chatted up regularly. Not that he noticed 😂 if I was ever in the bar I found it funny, because I knew it wasn’t going anywhere.

Your fiancé is uncomfortable with it and has told you, he’s a decent guy from sound of it. It would irritate me too if my oh said some random woman had attempted to flirt with him. Sounds like her partner is used to this sort of behaviour. Laugh at her as really she ought to be pitied! She’s crying out for attention from any man who will notice she’s obviously very unhappy.

She just sounds like an attention seeker to me. She is probably like it with most men (it might not even be about the men). I feel a bit sorry for women like that because I have seen the male response and it is usually one of quite impolite mocking (when in a group). I would let her continue to embarrass herself, your DP can choose to completely ignore her, or make it clear that she's embarrassing herself.

All of you have really helped, thank you. I showed my partner this thread and he was impressed by the straight talking and genuine insights. She's definitely going to notice a difference when he next sees her. Heh.

Good luck with it Mudpet. I am sure she will soon get bored when she gets no attention for her antics from your fiancé. Try not to let it ruin your time with your baby and your fiancé. Hope I wasn’t too harsh. I just learnt the hard way, that no one can ‘steal your man’ if they dont want to go. And she can only disrespect you if your fiancé lets her. Otherwise she is just someone making a plonker of herself xx

He’s told you that a beautiful woman keeps throwing herself at him. I bet if he thought she wasn’t at all attractive he’d be more than happy to make it clear to her he’s not interested in her.

He needs to be the one to tell her he’s not interested in her in that way.

I know women like this. Your partner needs to cut her off and ignore her, blank in public, tell her to fuck off. Only way. If he doesnt its because hes enjoying it and probably enjoying the fact it makea you jelous.

He just needs to ignore her and keep doing his job.

She'll soon get the message he's not interested.

Who told you she is apparently beautiful? Your partner? If so, he’s being unreasonable and trying to wind you up.

There was a girl that was all over my husband (fiancé at the time) and whenever she didn't anything, I'd laugh and say "omg how embarrassing". She soon stopped.

If you're not around though when she's there, I'd advise that your fiancé ask her to stop.

she's making an a-hole out of herself. Let her go! Or you could just cut her....

If your partner isn't interested then what's the issue? Let her do what she likes - she's only making a fool of herself.

" I bet if he thought she wasn’t at all attractive he’d be more than happy to make it clear to her he’s not interested in her. "

"Your partner needs to cut her off and ignore her, blank in public, tell her to fuck off."

I expect the difficulty is that she's his boss's partner. It makes it harder to be forthright, direct or rude without causing problems at work.

Regarding the ignoring - it sounds like he's doing that, and instead of getting the message she's ramping it up.

OP, there's not a lot you can do really. If you say anything to her she'll act faux surprised and tell you she's like that with everyone, he's just imagining it, and make you feel foolish. He just needs to keep doing what he's doing, she'll move on eventually, or overstep sufficiently that he can make a proper complaint or his boss gets tired of watching it.

This definitely needs to come from him. Some people think they are so desirable to the other sex, that they can have anyone & really don’t care for anyone else in the picture. He needs to burst her bubble but, my gut feel is that will make her even more relentless in her pursuit.

Good luck